It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I’m sure a single person or two is thinking…”Dagnabit…another year with the same last name, or no one sporting my name!” I feel ya!
One of the biggest lies the single life tries to sell so many is that single people are incomplete alone. Through Christ Jesus all are whole, whether single, divorce, widowed, just dating, courting or otherwise. The ability to know that you are enough in whatever stage of singlehood you may find yourself is truly a blessing if you allow it. (And yes, I admit, that whole “allowing it” part is not always easy.)
Have you ever thought about what it must be like to be single and full of all the joy life at this moment intends you to have? Have you ever thought about how good it would feel to still have aspirations for life to transform, if marriage is your heart’s desire, but be absolutely focused on, and content with where God has you right now?
If you don’t know that you are enough “as is” then certainly no man or woman will be able to add to, enhance or improve you. So often singles spend so much time looking for someone to fall in love with when they’ve not fallen in love with God and definitely haven’t fallen in love with themselves. I speak that as my truth in my various forms of singleness. Often when you have fallen in love before and that love has left or was lost people tend to shy away from the one Man who’s been there all along…our Father.
So on Valentine’s Day why don’t you go ahead and embrace where you are, even if it’s not where you want to be, where you used to be or where you desire to end up?
- If you don’t have a boo or babe (I shan’t say bae!) take yourself out to eat.
- Go to the movies alone and laugh out loud if you want to (at least no one will be sitting next to you nudging you to be quiet).
- Spend time with good girl or guy friends. On a day like V’Day, the funnier the people the better.
- Send yourself flowers or an Edible Arrangement “just because”.
- If you do have someone special and you all aren’t united in holy matrimony just yet, enjoy where you are together in a way that shows God you’re serious about being trusted for more together. I know it’s hard, but do something fun and “risk-free” instead of risque.
- If you’re divorced, especially with children, use this day of love to reflect on the beautiful things that were birthed out of your union whether they be spiritual, natural or tangible.
- Start some new “Love Day” traditions. Gather for dinner or bowling or skating with others who are single, widowed, in divorced or separated circumstances (Not your angry, bitter, “girl if I was you I would…” friends though. Pray for them and leave them at the house…alone).
- If you’re widowed, use this day to allow others to shower you with the love you deserve. Reflect on fond and fun memories and let today be a launching pad to create more with the loved ones that remain.
- If it’s truly difficult for you to embrace where you are as a single person, especially on Valentine’s Day, do know that that’s absolutely okay especially if life’s challenges with your relationship status are recent or still hurtful. But whatever you do, don’t let this day be one of wallowing, self-pity and self-degradation. Surround yourself with those with cups of joy and love overflowing on your behalf.
- And regardless of what state of singlehood you’re in tell yourself “I love you”. (over and over if necessary.)
Being single is not the pits. In fact, it’s preparation for greater however that may come. Singles should all strive to use the state of being single as just the right setting to get to know who you are, and always know that you are enough!