They Called Me Ronald

They use to call me Ronald and not because of a guy I dated in college. They use to call me Ronald, as in McDonald. Well, the “they” wasn’t really a “they”, but one bold friend honest enough to remind me of who I was mimicking one fateful day in the late 1990’s when a home hair experiment went awry.

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Having spent most of the 1990’s and early 2000’s with one trendy hue or another in my hair, I remember clearly the day Dark and Lovely turned out to Bright and Scary. I was always a fan of Auburn (not the school, but the color). My favorite tones of Auburn were Honey Auburn and Rich Auburn. In fact, my stylists at the time was a master of giving me just a bit of sultry, edge to highlight my professional wraps, layers and roller sets. But one day, in my Inverness, Alabama apartment I ventured into waters unknown. I’d done my own hair hundreds of times before, but this time I decided to leave the color in longer than recommended and mix my own special “blend”. What I ended up with was a mess of epic proportions that left me with a cayenne pepper colored coif, a headache and some serious split ends. 
While chatting at work with a few 20-year-olds I somehow found myself talking to them about my walk on the wild side concerning my hair. I was stunned about the overwhelming surprise, shock even, from each of them that I would have had engine red hair. Several things came to mind as they laughed (a bit too hysterically), quizzed me about it and still looked as if I was pulling an April Fool’s Joke on them.

I shared with them why I transitioned my hair color. In the midst of my goals and professional dreams to be on camera I didn’t want something as irrelevant (to me) as hair to get in the way. I giggled as I told them the “Ronald McDonald” phase was simply because I mismanaged money (because I overspent in other areas…shopping, at Casual Corner to be specific) and couldn’t pay a professional. Internally, I reminisced about the harsh red stains that would line my pillow the few days after a fresh, full-head at home color treatment. Sadly, to me, at that tender time in my needing-to-mature life, I viewed the pillow stains, forehead stains, burns, or neck stains that my lack of cosmetological experience produced as a sign that the color was going to “keep”! I pondered when one asked me, “Just how wild were you with the red hair?” Then I thought, “Am I really that far-removed from a “lava-red hair girl’ that the thought of me having been any other way than how I am now is laughable?” And I wondered is that a good thing or a bad thing. In that moment, I felt 41, and later asked myself how much of who I was at 21 or 31 is going to waste (the good and not so good stuff) because I’m not sharing it to help others.  

That conversation left me feeling a certain kind of way. I think their collective disbelief took me by surprise. Part of me wanted to shout to all who would hear, “I am not too (whatever) to have had red hair”. And the other part wanted to say, “I’m proud of the change and growth that I’ve made that hasn’t taken away from, but enhanced me all the more.” After stewing in it for a while I finally saw that as an opportunity to relate to them in a way I had not before. Before then, they’d only known me as Angela the Coordinator. Not that I need to literally reenact any of my past tomfoolery to relate, but I sure can recall it to them in a healthy (and funny) way so they can understand that I understand…them. In that brief, unexpected moment I hope I gave them hope that regardless of where they are, and regardless of the silly choices they make, with a committed choice to change, they can become and overcome anything.

So now, of course, they want to see pictures. Shall I, or shan’t I? Right now my response regarding showing pictures of my Ronald McDonald hair stage is a split decision. Get it?!?! Split, as in the ends of my hair from that self-inflicted disaster:)

-Angela Moore

How to Get What You Want

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Shhhhhhh……I have a secret to tell that I simply can’t hold any longer. I’ve finally figured out how you can get what you want! If you’re like me, in life, sometimes you wonder why you don’t yet have what you want or need. Lately, not getting my way has been heavily on my mind. This blog post was originally posted in April 2013. I wonder why the Lord would have me read, and repost it again….

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Here’s how you get what you want:

  • Pray about it.-Yep, that’s first and foremost.
  • Have a real relationship with those from which you expect to receive.- In other words, I bank at Regions therefore I should not expect to withdraw from BBVA Compass.
  • Give to others, even in your area of need.
  • Ask for it.-You’d be surprised the number of people who have given up or fallen out because someone didn’t ask for what they wanted or needed.
  • Be grateful for what you already have.
  • Sincerely celebrate those who already have what you want.-Keep a watchful eye out for the green-eyed monster (envy) and get rid of it.
  • Recognize if what you have is really better than what you want.
  • Figure out why you could be the reason for the hold up.
  • Fix the reasons why you could be the reason for the hold up.
  • Figure out if others in your life could be the reason for the hold up.-Are they not ready to handle what you’re about to receive? (And that doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person:)
  • Determine if you have enough help in place to help you with what you want.
  • Prepare for what you’re praying for.
  • Don’t lose hope.
  • Don’t lose hope.
  • Don’t lose hope.

Hope

@AngelaMMoore316

The Circle of Friends

Friendship is amazing, at least the good ones are! To me the best ones are like the old-fashioned Shoney’s Hot Fudge Cakes, the first time you heard Michael Jackson’s “Billy Jean” or your first taste of a Quincy’s Yeast Roll. No matter your first introduction or last association they are simply unforgettable, and all serve a life-changing purpose.

I think back on some of my friendships, especially with the advent of social media, or at least my introduction to it:) I’m amazed at how many associations have come full circle, bringing new life to my life. Friends from school that I hadn’t regularly seen offer daily interaction on facebook, and some were there to even walk with me through recent trying times. Friends from college who weren’t really full-fledged friends in college are now sounding boards for amazing chat and chew sessions that to most are a secret. Former church family has morphed into sisters.  And the oldies, but goodies have always been present and accounted for in their irreplaceable place in my life. Even as we changed and our lives changed we’ve found ways to make it work. That’s a blessing!

I’m 41. Most of my friends are in the same age bracket. All of my friends have full, demanding and productive lives and I really don’t like to talk on the phone. (I blame it on the years of having to sneak a 50ft cord from the one upstairs telephone in my parent’s room to my room to whisper sweet nothings (literally) to whatever young man had stolen my heart or share the latest gossip with girlfriends of old.) With that said, I don’t often get to talk to or spend time with the special “extra” sisters in my life. But I love them none the less!

There’s really no rhyme or reason for this blog other than to dedicate it to my friends. I don’t ever want to boast or appear to brag because of the people God has blessed me to know and love. I sincerely pray EVERYONE had supportive friends and family in their circle. My friends and I have been through tough times with each other, and sometimes because of each other. We’ve defied odds and spiked all kinds of CRAZY curiosity with inquiring minds wondering “how” and “why” we’re friends.  And through it all, we are. I just want to simply say “thank you” for being in my circle of friends, for letting the circle go unbroken and for joining me in finding the Superglue to fix it during the times that it did. If you have been blessed with great friends let them know it:)

Enjoy some snapshots of our life. (And for friends who aren’t pictured below because I can’t find any pictures of us….that just means we have to do better…and VERY soon!!!)

-Angela Moore

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Don’t Get Burned By the Fires You Set

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Let me tell you something. I know a thing or two about being hot-headed and quick-tongued. Did you just gasp? I know you did. I could hear it as I typed. I know. I know. It’s hard to believe that I have had a constant battle with holding my tongue or staying tame, but when you love using words as much as I do, don’t dare think that that same ability to use words doesn’t try to pop up at the must inconvenient, uncharacteristic times:)

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Especially in the 90’s (i.e. my 20s), I was the victim of my own bout with Youneedtogrowupitis. I did a few things and said some things to people I loved, people I worked with, people I thought I loved, people who made me mad, or people who were people.

I’ve learned a few lessons I’d like to share:

  • Pray about it before you post about it or talk about it. You’ll be surprised how prayer according to God’s word will let you see you, and how to say things differently.
  • If you have to leave a situation (job or task) always complete the assignment. Never leave a job undone because of haste, bitterness or anger.
  • Even if you have to leave whatever it is you have to leave never leave in a way you can’t return and always leave them wanting you back. (That’s self-explanatory.)
  • Run your emotions by a voice of reason. Don’t go to people that are challenged in the “hold my mule” department like you are. Seek truly wise people who can help shape your words, actions or reactions to be most productive.
  • Take a day, or two, or three before firing off feisty emails or messages. You’re likely to see how to say it better if you take a day to let things settle.
  • Don’t burn bridges you may have to cross again. You never know where life might lead you again (and again) don’t be the reason you can’t get there or go back.
  • Walk the line between radical and rational. It’s okay to be radical, passionate, fired up and all that good stuff, but if you’re not rational with it all that good stuff flies out the window. People usually prefer calm over chaotic even in serious situations.
  • Don’t get burned by the fires you set. Think past the pain of your present situations to the future of what could be. Being burned by the actions of others is often out of your control. Being burned by your own actions? Well that’s a whole ‘notha ballgame that you don’t want to play. Okay? Okay.

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@AngelaMichele316

I’m Hooked on Hope

Keep%20Calm%2020130426063853I’m not always happy. In fact, let’s just be real, sometimes my journey to joy is much longer than I would like. But there’s something deep down in the core of me that believes things can be better, wants to see the best in people and strives to find God in all situations.

A friend who was going through some serious personal struggles called a while ago and asked how I can be so happy and positive with all I’ve been through. I reminded her of my resumé, not the one on paper, but the one God’s prepared. Yes, I’ve had major, life-altering health issues. Yes, the routine of my life was interrupted and attacked in every area following a divorce. Yes, I’ve had financial obstacles that I still have from time-to-time. Yes, I’m not where I thought I’d be or worked to be by this point in life. Yes, close friends and family members have been dealing with unexplainable (and in my humbly, selfish opinion undeserved) struggles. Yes, I thought I was going to enjoy a new career with a base increase of $11000 (not including bonuses and perks) only to have to walk away. Yes, I’ve been talked about and walked out on by people I helped. Yes, times can be tough. But not tough enough to taint my view because, Y-E-S God is good. He was good through it all. He’s good right now and will be even better if I allow Him.

When we look at life from the perspective of having hope in the midst of whatever happens whatever happened has to help us much more than it might have hurt us. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I’ve decided to believe for the best. I can’t help it. I won’t stop it! I’m hooked on hope!

-Angela Moore

Where Does the Hurt Go? Really, Where Does it Go?

Hurt is like garbage. It stinks! Just like garbage, we all have it! Even more like garbage, if you let it sit around without properly tending to it and taking it out it has the ability to stink up the place and the people that around it

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There are many different ways to get rid of garbage.  We can use garbage bags, recycling bins, trash compactors, garbage disposals, toilets, dumps, composts or even burn it. The same is so with hurt.

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There are many constructive ways to deal with what hurts us. There’s prayer, counseling, therapy, support groups, small groups, scriptures, help from loved ones, support from spiritual leaders, crying, screaming, releasing, reading, exercise, journaling, cooking, singing, testimonies from others, time and maturity, a fresh perspective, gratefulness, even a mediator if more than one person is involved. But like garbage, hurt has to get the heck out of dodge!

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There are also many productive things to do as we to through the process to get over being hurt to make sure we are healed and not hindered in the present or future. We can focus on the future, make a list of the good that came out of what we endured, start a project, grow new healthy associations, turn that hurt into a new passion of support for others, start a positive blog, look for ways and reasons to forgive, use that time to redirect, redecorate or even relocate, write a book, spend time with family and friends that offer healthy support, tend to others that might have been affected by what happened, write a song, start a foundation, purposely strive to see the good in others, look for the humor in it, and so on.

The bottom line is, we all hurt or have been hurt. The levels of hurt, seriousness and severity of it might differ from person-to-person and situation-to-situation, but hurt happens. When it does, where does the hurt go? Really, where does it go? Hurt doesn’t disappear with time or vanish like a vapor on a hot summer’s day. It will stick around and stifle things for as long as we let it. Like stinky garbage, we have to do something with what has hurt us. It’s in our best interest long-term and short-term to do something beneficial with it before damage is done. We can profit from what caused us pain. We can do something with it since it’s already done so much to us. The key is to not get stuck, bitter, hopeless, cynical, fearful, untrusting, stagnant and “stanky” infecting or affecting all those who come near. The ticket is not letting past hurt affect future promises. We’re so much bigger than what hurt us. We deserve so much better than what hurt. It’s not what happened that really matters, but how we handle what happened that counts at the end of the day, and knowing that it needs to be and can be handled once, finally and for all.

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@AngelaMMoore316

This Girl’s Gotta Have It

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The older I get the more I’m learning more about me. I like the fact that I’m starting to take the time to recognize, accept and even appreciate some things about me that might have always been there, but I’m only now paying attention to. Chatting with my sister, as we giggled about our “must have lists” she asked, “Do you think our list would be weird to most people.” I told her I “didn’t know.” So why don’t you take a peek and tell me what you think.

This girl’s gotta have:

  • A tube of green, medicated Chapstick and some Maybelline mascara.
  • A testimony ready to share of how God has changed your life.
  • A trendy denim jacket.
  • Snacks in my purse and at my office (preferably peanuts, oatmeal or a granola bar).
  • A pair of black flats at work.
  • A pair of flip-flops, heels and flats in my car.
  • A few special occasion (sympathy, birthday, thank you and get well) greeting cards at home and work.
  • A can of Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs, tortilla chips, grits and muffin mix in my pantry.
  • A ready resume.
  • A “go-to” scripture ready to help someone in need (especially if that someone is me).
  • An upcoming trip or event to look forward to.
  • An old, comfortable dress or sweats to sashay around in.
  • Leggins.
  • Fingernail polish at home to match the fingernail polish from the salon for a “need a fill-in” touch up.
  • A calendar with notifications on my phone, Gmail and Outlook.
  • A good friend to always hip me to the game.
  • At least five gift cards at all times.
  • At least two black purses and two brown purses in current rotation.
  • A friend each who are smarter than I am, more fashionable than I am, more spiritual than I am, bolder, more accomplished than I am and has overcome more than I have.
  • Someone to tell me like it “T-I-S”.
  • An assortment of University of Alabama T-Shirts.
  • A camera at my disposal.
  • My cell phone and charger.
  • A tube of “Wet and Wild” lip gloss (It’s one of the only products that doesn’t make my lips do the “puffy dance”.)
  • A moment of peace and quiet.
  • Two water bottles at work.
  • Cold water, filtered water or bottled water.
  • One hour or more at work alone to work before people arrive.
  • A prayer partner.
  • At least one great Gospel CD in my kitchen, in my car and at work, and Pandora access.
  • At least two very distinct wigs.
  • A pair of comfy house shoes.
  • An outfit ready to return in my closet.
  • $20 stashed in my secret wallet.
  • A cosmetic bag always packed and ready for a road trip.
  • A sweater, throw and tennis shoes in my trunk.
  • Change in my car.
  • A glass of orange juice at night.
  • A gift card ready to be given away.
  • An assortment of organized pens and highlighters in my purse.
  • Some correction fluid (Liquid Paper).
  • A fragrance in my purse, in my glove compartment and at work.
  • A closet organized by color and/or style.
  • The Food Network, Cooking Channel, OWN and HGTV.
  • A phone, tablet or laptop ready to type out or record whatever’s on my mind at any given time.

@AngelaMichele316