Child Please!

Posted on May 29, 2013 by Life Gets Better

It’s coming! In the words of the Jackson 5, “Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it?!?!?” Summer’s about to hit us and depending on what part of the world you call home that also means hotter temperatures, and fashions gone wild.

Let me just say that long ago in a far, far away world known as The Land of My Teens and 20’s I was a “skintight”, “bare as you dare” Diva with a capital “D”! Tube tops showing practically everything below my upper rib bone? Child Please! I did it! Super short shorts and even shorter skirts on my 5’9 body? Child Please! I did it! Mega tight can’t breathe, can’t move dresses? Child Please! I did it! Backless frocks to the lowest part of my spine that would make the sight impaired blush? Child Please! I did it! Clothes so revealing that my daddy had to hide one of my dresses that ended up fitting my sister (who ss actually nine years younger)? Child Please! I did it!

Notice how I cleverly refrained from posting any of those frightening photos:)

While I ventured into the form-fitting arena quite often, I never had a desire to wear clothes that were too big or masculine in style, perhaps, except the tie I would wear to work at the Cobb’s Midfield Six Theatre. However, today there also seems to be an overwhelming amount of attire that doesn’t distinguish the women from the masses. I get the concept of comfort and individuality all day long, but I believe there are certain features about us that are meant to be gracefully embraced, not totally embedded. Also today, there are hodge-podges of “tight is right” and “loosey goosey” styles that seem to have swept the world of little girls, teens, young women and grown girls by storm.

Now before you start to think that I’ve turned into an old, complaining prude that rests on terms like “back in my day” or “when I was younger”, I haven’t. Child please! I think young girls should be confident and comfortable and cute, and can be all of those at the same time in a manner that makes them who they should be, and how they should look at that stage in life. I still think grown women should be fierce and fabulously beautiful, but with taste and distinction (and a choice of selections of appropriate sass, uniqueness, comfort and flare). I think it’s possible to catwalk down the fine line of fashion and appropriateness, strutting to the tune of individuality, uniqueness and crazy creativity and look good while doing it. That, my sisters and sisterettes is what I believe makes one not just a woman, but a lady!

And so it is that I happened on the words of Marilyn Monroe and have nothing more to say:

@AngelaMMoore316

How to Handle Divorce from the Outside Looking In

Posted on May 28, 2013 by Life Gets Better

Life Gets Better

Divorce hurts. And it’s not just the reality of a marriage ending that can sting, but sometimes it’s the words or actions of well-meaning loved ones that are walking an unfamiliar path along with you. As I see more and more friends and family experiencing divorce and separation I’m reminded of one thing. The role of those on the outside looking in can be a key factor in how fast and how completely a person in the throes of divorce can heal. I also realize that the pain felt by those from the outside can be just as intense.

So, as a friend or family member of a person experiencing divorce or separation how do you handle it from the outside looking in? I’m glad you asked.

Don’t make the divorce or separation the center of conversations. There’s more to talk about than that, and most who have experienced divorce want to…

View original post 375 more words

Be Quicker to Question Than to Quit

Posted on May 28, 2013 by Life Gets Better

So many times when life happens we try to leave or let go. Whether it be trouble at home, trouble with people, trouble on the job, trouble at church or even trouble within ourselves the natural inclination is often to quit. At least from my experience, often times the sudden response to “duck out” or “dismiss” comes from an innate desire to want to protect our feelings.

Yes, life can be hard, but through it we become stronger. Yes, life can bring surprises, but some turn out to be blessings. Yes, life and the people in it can present challenges, but most usher in opportunities for growth. Yes, life can be unfair, but there’s a beauty in patience. Yes, there will even be situations and circumstances that we ABSOLUTELY need to leave behind, but I would like to propose that before we parade off, cast out, walk out on or away from something that we may not need to, or may not need to depart from in the manner in which we are planning we ask a few questions. I propose we ask the following questions then take time to talk and listen to the people or parties involved, in fact, take as much time working trying to find a solution as was taken recognizing the problem and most importantly allow God to give direction and clarity.

What does Scripture say about what I’m going through? Who’s already in the Bible with a “been there, done that” seal of approval that I can learn from?
What makes me so special that God would trust me enough to allow this to happen to me? What glory is He after?
Who am I supposed to meet in the midst of this madness that can help me?
Who am I supposed to meet in the midst of this madness that I can help?
What benefit might this situation bring me?
Are my emotions or thoughts accurate? Could my analysis be in accurate?
Have I gone through the right channels to communicate and/or rectify?
What life-long lessons am I to learn during this situation?
Should I stay, go or pump the breaks of decision making just a tad bit longer?

-Angela Moore

Did You Just Do a Wendy Williams?

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Life Gets Better

Talk show host Wendy Williams is known for a lot of things, one of them being her assortment of wigs. She’s famous for pulling notes out of it, changing it up from day-to-day and adjusting her wig when it’s out of whack.

One day at lunch with my friend Charmel Taylor talking about a great business partnership she was setting up for me I did a “Wendy” as I often do. I pulled down the front of my wig from where it had obviously started moving in a direction it should not have. She immediately noticed and asked/exclaimed, “Did you just do a Wendy Williams?!?!?!” My answer was, “I sure did!”

It had been a long day. I’d been up since 4am and at work since 6am. My hair accessory needed help!!!! How many people can you feel comfortable around fixing what’s wrong in your life? How many people do you allow to inquire about your process of becoming better without shutting down, getting an attitude or accusing them of being “nosey”? I hear you giggling and I know you’re thinking that a wig is something trivial, and in some regards it is, but the principal of wig fixin’ and life fixing are pretty much the same.

Everyone, no matter how great, powerful, old, wise or successful needs people they can allow in to see them make things right. Why, you ask? I’m glad you did.

Others may see things you don’t. Now, had I adjusted my wig in the middle of Surin West and made matters worse I’m certain my friend would have pointed out if my piece was not at place.
Others may be encouraged by what you allow them to see. Not that my friend’s ponytail was messed up, but seeing me do a quick-fix might have prompted her to check to make sure her coif was correct.
Others may be able to help. Not to be confused with #1, even if my friend might have noticed my wig issues she might not have been the one assigned to help me get it on track. There may be an entirely different group of hair angels sent to help me get my mane managed.

I’ll never know any of the above person unless I allow some people to really know me…messed up wig, messed up situations, and everything in between and underneath. (Get it? Underneath, like the hair under my wig that needed fixing?) .

-Angela Moore

Ready. Set. Blast off!!!!!

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Life Gets Better

If you’re anything like me, I know it feels like forever has come and gone since you’ve made the kinds of moves in life you want to, and know you’re destined to. For me, as necessary as times of waiting are, lingering in seasons of being held up, put on pause, groomed, tweaked, reworked, purged or prepped can be hard to endure.

It’s like being on an airplane knowing you’ve paid for the ticket, planned the route to your destination, stood in long lines to check in, put your laptop on the survey belt, taken off your shoes, jewelry and hairpins under your wig, gotten nestled in your seat with a good book, Gingerale and a comfy shoulder to lean on, gotten off the ground, taken a snooze, then had to land again for hours, but not at your final destination. Natural layovers can be the pits! Just being honest, but were it not for the occasional Cinnabon in the airports I frequent I would say airport layovers are one of my least favorite occurrences in life (okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get my point). Spiritual layovers can feel like the pits too.

In life when you feel like you’re ready to go and do and give and get and grow and have and handle and prosper and share and work and win who really wants to hear the words “Hold up! Wait a minute”?!?!?! I don’t. Now, the common sense and spiritual wisdom in me knows that Father knows best. God is much too much of a gentle-Man to give us anything before our time…hence the layovers.

Well, I’ve been hearing some new words. Words we’ve been waiting for: Buckle up your seatbelts and get ready to blast off in 3…2…1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Angela Moore

The Blessing of Baby Steps

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Life Gets Better

I have a dear sister/friend named Jan with a family member in need of a major healing. Loved ones are joining him in faith as he fights for his life, already having beat some odds, everyone seems poised to see him all the way through to victory.

The same doctor’s who once bore the grim task of having to explain devastating news that would send even the strongest of believers to their knees have also been the ones that have day-by-day delivered little bits of good news, glimmers of hope with a resounding tone of “baby steps”.

As much as the human mind or heart would like to discount “baby steps” because they often don’t appear grand enough, exciting enough or miraculous enough I had to stop and think about what a “baby step” really represents. Baby steps are a blessing!

Think about babies. Think about the first time you’ve seen the special baby in your life take a step forward, even if they fell again. It’s truly a cause for joyous celebration. I have been privileged to closely see the development of little loved ones who have made the daring task of walking. Regardless of it being uncomfortable, unfamiliar, unstable and downright scary they’ve done it, one by one. They walk, gain momentum, garner strength and confidence to go on. That’s a blessing!

I want to be the kind of person, like Jan and her family, that is grateful for the “little” like it’s the “big” they’re after. I want to be the kind of person, daughter, sister, or friend that celebrates the “baby steps” in my life and the lives of others just like I do the “leaps and bounds” because life has taught me that the God we serve is capable of using baby steps to operate like leaps, bounds and beyond!

-Angela Moore

I Found Out My Ex Is My Brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Life Gets Better

I’ve dealt with shock and awe in my life in many ways many can’t imagine. From my time as a television journalist years ago, to the seven years I spent working in full-time ministry, to my own antics as a human being and everything in between, I’ve pretty much seen or heard it all.

But nothing took me aback recently like a shocking fact I finally uncovered around 2011. While in the midst of a recurring Church of the Highlands Small Group called Restoration for persons experiencing divorce or separation taught by Donna and Buddy Collier I was faced with a grim discovery…My Ex is My Brother!!!!!!!

I feel you. As a matter of fact, I could hear your gasp through the computer. It floored me just about as much as I’m sure this revelation floored you. I was so resistant to the thought of him being my brother, almost rebellious and embarrassed even, as I accepted how the knowledge I’d gained was going to change my life forever.

You see, it was while in the Restoration Small Group (which starts again in June at 11:30am each Sunday at Church of the Highlands Grants Mill www.churchofthehighlands.com) that I had to face a hard truth. All of the pain, disappointment, shattered dreams, unfulfilled promises, ways I wanted to get revenge, and plain old ANGER surrounding my divorce were involving not my “husband”, not simply another “human”, not even a “man”, but my BROTHER in Christ. He was my brother, and subject to the same faults, flaws and forgiveness as I. And for that fact, that gigantically, small fact, I had to forgive him, view him, respond to him, pray for him and treat him like the brother in the Lord Jesus that he was.

People often ask how I “did divorce” the way that I did. I guess they’re inquiring why I didn’t go all “Hollywood crazy” like some who haven’t put things, even their own pain, in a greater perspective and in greater Hands. Don’t think a quick flash of Angela Bassett’s stirring performance in “Waiting to Exhale” didn’t flash through my mind like some lighting in July. Don’t even think I didn’t allow the devil to have me entertain some very cautiously, creative ways to make his life miserable because mine was. But it wasn’t worth it. It just wasn’t worth it.

Was viewing him as my brother in Christ easy? N-O! Has it grown to be easy? Not easy, but much, much easier. But it is worth it to choose to see him as my brother each time something goes wrong in my life (mostly finances, if you want me to be real) and my internal answer is to look for a blame. Because of how I choose to see things I can correct myself knowing that he’s my brother and not my blame. Whatever happened God allowed and ultimately, my life, (his life) and all the great things to come in spite of the “not as great things” that have come are God’s responsibility and no one else’s. My responsibility is to love, heal, forgive, keep the peace and stay in place to receive.

-Angela Moore

Healing Doesn’t Take Away the Hurt

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Life Gets Better

Life Gets Better

Here’s a little secret about healing, it doesn’t take away the hurt. I just heard you say, “WHAT the WORLD?!?!?” You saw what I wrote, “healing doesn’t take away the hurt.” Now, let me explain myself before you de-blog me.

I believe sometimes we are afraid to heal because we’re afraid that the healing might appear to others (or even ourselves) that we didn’t hurt, or love or truly lament the loss we experienced. Sometimes, I believe that we are reluctant to move forward because it might appear that whatever we’ve come out of (death, divorce, job loss, etc.) was warranted, wasn’t real, wasn’t a devastating blow or was what we desired.

View original post 641 more words

Healing Doesn’t Take Away the Hurt (Remix)

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Life Gets Better

Regarding the death of my marriage, I would often hear “Wow! You are doing really well”, or “You don’t even look like most people who’ve gone through a divorce”. This was from people who had no idea of what I had already endured, or was enduring as a result of the divorce. Most were sincere, and I shall leave it at that. I would often smile, give God the glory and share what I chose to of my secrets to the extra-long path toward my personal healing, but then internally ask if the person really understood the level of pain that devastating blow dealt me. As if I, in some way knew the divorce was coming, from some I would hear, “I didn’t even know y’all were having problems”. I wanted to say, “All marriages have problems, but from me you would never have heard of mine. And NO, I didn’t know he was leaving!” I never wanted to be Angry Angela or Messy Michele about anything in my life so I fought hard to defeat feisty responses I wanted to offer. I’ve learned to focus on, see and seek God in all things. Nothing should have been different with my divorce, and that was part of my initial prayers to God as that unbelievable journey began. Even as I was fighting to get up (literally) and rebuild my life on this unexpected path God allowed I didn’t want anyone questioning whether or not I loved, was hurt, or did my all simply because I relentlessly pursued healing. I simultaneously didn’t want anyone thinking that I didn’t fully trust the Lord. Still, the thoughts loomed in my mind. I also didn’t want to act out of character cutting up in public or cutting up stuff in private. That simply wasn’t me. I believe tea should be sipped, not spilled.

Parts of this post were originally written in May 2013. Recently, I learned that some who are in my circle, or had previously been thought just what my thoughts thought could be…that I must not have loved my ex-husband, or something of the sort. Upon hearing of this, my gut instinct to was rare up and run down my laundry list of things, reasons, if you will, as to why I believe, and know the Lord moved in me as He did, and in the “hindsight is 20/20” preparation He’d given me prior to my divorce. Instead, I’ll say this:

Not everyone should be privy to one’s pain.
Anyone going through pain deserves some form of privacy.
Not everyone can handle one’s pain even if they were to become privy to it.
One should not speak negatively or in a defaming way of others. Sometimes a person’s silence is sufficient.
Those that needed to know the gory details of what was endured did. They handled it, my mess and me very discreetly and very well.
Divorce doesn’t always look like a Lifetime mini-series with rage, weight-loss, inability to function, substance abuse or depression.
Privacy, decorum, and respect are God’s way, and He rewards that.
Lastly, just because you didn’t hear someone holler doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt.

For anyone wondering how someone is doing, what someone is thinking, what someone is feeling, what help is desired, what help toward healing has been sought, or what correction or direction someone experiencing loss needs all you have to do is simply ASK them directly. Take it from me. They will be encouraged just to know you care. For anyone dealing with loss and holding on to the “what will people think” notion, may I propose that healing doesn’t take away the hurt. In no way, shape, form or fashion will your decision to trust God to make you well whither away or discount anything you might have felt or endured. Your pain is your pain and it’s nothing history, anything or anyone can do to erase what happened. What God can do is heal what happened. What you can do is not dwell on what happened and stay stuck there. Healing from your pain allows you to use what you’ve gone through and what was granted after your loss for God’s glory, your good and the world’s gain.

@AngelaMMoore316