Warren G and Nate Dogg had a catchy, little tune in the 90’s called “Regulate”. Right at the top of the intro of the infectious hit Warren demands, “Regulators, Mount Up!” Well, I would like to gingerly and lovingly say, concerning other people’s thoughts regarding singles, “Regulators, Sit Down (please)”..and see a single’s view!
There are a few things about the lives of single people who others often don’t understand, leading them to try to regulate. Some people try to regulate a single person’s pocket, their dreams and their time. I truly don’t think it’s on purpose, but an automatic assumption that, if you are single, and especially if you don’t have children you should be, would be and could be able to do some things without trouble or thought. That’s not fair, or often feasible.
- The Single Person’s Pocket: Just because a person is single doesn’t mean they have an abundance of money to share or even survive on. Unlike persons married with two incomes, singles have one pot from which to pull, and one salary to cover the same expenses married couples have. This blog was prompted after I overheard someone say a single man making $40000 a year ought to be able to afford a house. That may or may not be true. He may have child support, student loans, be helping his parents or have other bills. The mortgage for a $130,000 house for someone with good credit could be $800-$900 per month. Take that monthly from what the $40000 man would make, add in utilities, food, gas, and above expenses and that’s simply not enough. Sorry.
- The Single Person’s Dreams: Will you get married? Why aren’t you married? Will you get married again? Will you move? Why are you moving? Will you get two jobs? Will you get another job? Will you go back to school? Single people simply don’t know the answers to those questions any more than married people do, or did before the answers were made clear. Sorry.
- The Single Person’s Time: Now, this one is the doozy! Yes, single people are single. Yes, single people may not have children. Yes, single people are mostly responsible just for themselves, but that doesn’t mean they have time, want to devote time or even should devote time to every event, ministry, civic group, save-the-world cause, babysitting venture, family function, organization and situation that arises. Their schedules are their schedules and subject to restrictions and limitations just like everyone else. Sorry.
Don’t get me wrong. Singles do like to give, grow in their lives and be involved in helping others. The best thing to do regarding expectations of singles is ask and try to understand before assuming.