Gifts are truly one of those things that keep on giving if you give them away. Just the other day, I stepped into my spare closet and took items that had been hanging in there for far too long, bagged them up nicely, moved to my other closet, repeated the steps and came out with a bundle of beautiful pieces to share with a beautiful friend.
I sent her a message about the bounty I’d stashed for her. We were both ecstatic, giddy even, about the great exchange that was coming. I could not wait to share with her what I’d been holding for her. She couldn’t wait to receive what I had. I knew she would like them. I knew they were perfect just for her. We met on a Saturday afternoon, made the big pass of the bag, graced each other with pleasantries, restaurant recommendations, hugs, “I Love Yous” and went away feeling great. It was a beautiful thing indeed. I was sure of that!
Oh, how I wish sharing my gift of writing were as easy. The whole experience is less like the sharing of clothing and more like the birthing of children. Having no natural children of my own, I can only imagine what mothers feel like wondering how the world will receive their babies. My words are like my babies. They’re my gifts from God.
So many thoughts, doubts even, come to mind as I labor day and night nurturing the words that often awaken me in the middle of the night.
- Will people like them?
- Will people think they are as beautiful as I do?
- Will people make fun of them?
- Will people misunderstand them?
- Will people misunderstand me because of them?
- Will they embarrass me?
- Will people judge me because of them?
- Will letting go of them cause me more pain?
- Will people protect them?
- My list goes on and on and on and on.
Just like a good mother with all sorts of concerns concerning her babies, daily, still I rise, get my babies together for the day, speak life into them, thank God for the path (often a painful one) that birthed them, dress them up for the day, look over them with a fine-tooth comb, correct them where they need addressing, and trust their Father to take care of us all.
Like any good, natural mother I’m not certain I’ll ever remove the “guardian eagle” eyes concerning my babies. I desire to grow as confident in sharing my words as I did in sharing my clothing with a friend. I believe part of me will always want to do whatever possible to protect my words, my babies, but my prayer is that with each letter, phrase, sentence, punctuation or paragraph I become more and more comfortable each time my precious eaglets leave the nest.