The truth hurts! That’s not just a cliché’, but it’s often actually a true statement. Telling the truth, hearing the truth, being open to the truth, digesting the truth, standing up for the truth, seeking the truth, all, truthfully, can feel like you’ve been sucker-punched, WWF-style circa 1989.
The truth is one of those things that can evoke so many emotions. For the releaser of the truth it can bring about fear, second-guessing, anxiety and a myriad of other feelings. For the receiver of the truth (especially when it’s unexpected or goes against what was believed to be the truth) it can bring about anger, isolation, distrust, and so many other unhealthy feelings. Those facets of the truth are especially true in relationships, where pre-conceived notions, hurt feelings, past baggage or stubbornness, pride and other issues come into play.
Here’s a little nugget to ponder. We all need those that love us enough to tell us the truth and those we love enough to let the truth be told. And in the words made famous in Do the Right Thing, “And that’s the double truth, Ruth!”
There I said it! There are days where my introversion tries to take over or the left over girlhood remarks like “Child Please”, “Girl, Bye!” and “Honey Boom” try to creep up my esophagus and out of my mouth. There are time I want to state my case to clear the air knowing clearing my air will dirty someone else’s. There are times I want to take my “vocal” friends up on their request to help me fight my battles but I can’t. I must be nice, especially when I don’t want to. Why?
Because the Bible tells me so.
Because my parents told me to.
Because I’m old enough at this point to know that it’s the right thing to do (especially when I don’t want to, and regardless of how it’s received.)
Because usually the people who I don’t want to be nice to are the ones who need it most.
Because I’m bigger than my emotions.
Because usually there’s a reason (pride, pain, hurt, frustration) behind every person’s personality that makes them the one that I don’t want to be nice to.
Because usually there’s also a reason (pride, pain, hurt, frustration) behind what’s in me that would make me not want to be nice.
Because orange is NOT my new black, boo! I can’t afford to spend any time behind any bars paying the price because I let someone else’s feelings take me too far.
So, sometimes I don’t want to be nice, but I have to muster up the maturity to be that and more. It becomes comical often, when I’m faced with certain situations where I want to react based off of another’s actions. But it’s like an internal alarm goes off alerting me that this is only a test, a test of my niceness. Some people are concerned with their “gansta” being tested. Nope, not me. Don’t test my niceness…LOL!
I’m not saying being nice is at all easy. It’s not. It’s hard as the dickens! I’m not saying I always get being nice right. I don’t. I’m human. I’m not saying being nice always fixes the situation. It doesn’t. It fixes me. I’m not even saying I’m always nice even when I know I need to be. I’m not. But being nice is necessary so I must do what’s necessary to be nice, even and especially when I don’t want to.