Divorce: I Wanted to Snap!

You ever had someone tell you they’re leaving you? At the utterance of those words and in the days and months following have you ever had repeated and rapid flashbacks of the dreams you nurtured, worked for, prayed for and strived toward turning into what feels like an unwakable nightmare? Have you ever pulled out a calculator to remind yourself of the amount of money your parents paid for the wedding? Have you ever had the realization of the career you sacrificed hit you like a ton of bricks, or the thought of financial deprivation and absolute public humiliation? Have you ever lost a husband, church, career, some family and friends, health insurance, cell phone coverage, life insurance coverage, and income within three months? I have and I wanted to SNAP (crackle and pop)!

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With that said, I’m so glad I didn’t. Recently, however, I had a chance to talk to another woman who is where I once was. Not to quantify or rank divorces, but I would even admit that her situation seemed to be even more of a challenge than mine. She was ready to declare war, honey and suffer the consequences later. I laughed at myself (and her) as I started telling her of some of the ways the enemy tried to get me to get myself off track during my separation and divorce process. I had soooooooo many plots and plans to get back at various people and entities. I did. I really, really did. I shall not entertain you or embarrass myself by sharing some of those maniacal plans, but let’s just say my mind had to constantly be put in check. Because I’m a “lady” and I’m a writer, not a fighter none of the things I wanted to do to seek revenge would have landed me in jail, but I would have been absolutely imprisoned in a battle of regression, regret and total shame.

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I know it’s tough when we endure the heartbreaking reality of divorce, but I’m a firm believer after battling my own internal struggles, that our God does not fix a problem by creating a problem. He never intends for us to add any more pain to the pain that’s already been placed on us by going all “B-movie” and slashing tires, burning clothes, stalking or snapping on the man, woman, other man or other woman. He does not desire us to act out of character by lashing out on a social media “mess” blitz, or playing “hide and seek” with our children. He does not want us calling our old friends from the other side of town to “handle things” on our behalf, and he certainly doesn’t delight in us practicing our private eye skills turning our nights and early mornings into a seen from Matlock or Catfish.

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God promises that He ALWAYS has a way of escape, especially when it comes to us trying to do His job. After all, this is His battle to fight. 2 Chronicles 20:17 (NIRV) says, “You will not have to fight this battle. Take your positions. Stand firm. You will see how I will save you. Judah and Jerusalem, do not be afraid. Do not lose hope. Go out and face them tomorrow. I will be with you.”

We have to remember to hold to the Lord in times of hurt. The more we want to snap (crackle and pop) the more we need to stand firm trusting Him to heal, deliver, restore and reward.

 The-best-way-to-get-even

 

@AngelaMichele316

7 thoughts on “Divorce: I Wanted to Snap!

  1. Pingback: Divorce: I Wanted to Snap! | angelamooreblog

  2. Just know that even though you’re hurting, the other person is too. Going through a divorce I’ve initiated, I just don’t even know what to say to him anymore to make him feel better. I don’t mean to hurt him but I can’t change how I feel.

    • That’s so true. I attended a support group for over a year and a half following my divorce several years ago. Understanding that fact that the person who left also hurts helped me heal, and helped me be able to handle my situation and my ex-husband in a way that was a reflection of who I am, rather than the hurt or anger.

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