I’m Glad We Fell Out 2.0

Social media is a friend of mine! I say that jokingly, but am actually quite serious. It amazes me how many people from different stages of my life I’ve been able to reconnect with via this little engine called the World Wide Web. I’ll be the first to admit that some of the friend requests I’ve rendered and received have shocked me.  Drama is real and it certainly was real in my “I didn’t know any better and didn’t want to know any better” years. But still, we press on and press that “send” button and make our “friend” request known. And wouldn’t you know it, low and behold, the ones we least expect actually “like” us…and we actually “like” them too, but for real, and not just from behind a computer or phone screen. Wow, life does go on and people (including me) actually do grow up.


During this month I have had the pleasure to be reconnected with others from my past. As I pondered the idea of reconnecting I had mixed emotions. Teenage years and teenage actions (including my own) can be a beast! With a bit of trepidation, and a lot of gratefulness, I’ve seen in just 30 short days how God’s strategic plan for our lives is just that…strategic. Sometimes He plants the seed, prunes the leaves or plucks the ground, but still allows the harvest when we least expect it and most often need it.


Just yesterday, I spent the most refreshing time chatting it up with one of my very best friends of years gone by. We’d not verbally spoken in more than two decades because of teenageness too insignificant to warrant an explanation, but of which we both had previously offered an apology. When my phone rang and I heard her voice it was as if we were curling our stacked bobs or dancing around in her parent’s den to New Edition or Al B. Sure like we did so many, many times before. We picked right back up like it was the 1980s. My heart leaped at the thought of having my dear sister back in my life. I also further forged growing friendships with people I went to college with, and knew of, but didn’t know, and now I wish I had known before. They are a hoot! (I’d like to chalk that up to God knowing that some people can’t handle our “crazy” so He waits until we’re all cleaned up to re-present us as brand, spanking new.) As if that weren’t fantabulous enough, a week ago I was able to sit and meet with another person from my past, with whom I might not have treated the best, over a boy, of course, in the hallowed halls of the very place we shared in common. Talking, brainstorming ideas and cracking up with her made me see why he would prefer us both. He had good taste in some great girls, who turned out to be great women. (If he were looking down, I bet there was a great, big Cheshire cat grin from Heaven at the site of us connecting with each other. RIP KRW)

I’ve learned, that some of the drama, mess, fussin’ and falling out that happens as we evolve is just what humans do when we are growing and changing and learning about life while at the same time trying to learn about ourselves. It’s our responsibility as we endure that process to allow the same process in a person’s life to be complete. I can’t remove the childish actions that might have been done to me by people in my past and I certainly can’t remove the childish actions I might have done, but the thought that one day it can all come back together again, in whatever more mature form it reappears is mind-boggling.  Now, will all the people I fell out with over my 42 years of living become my new bffs? Quite possibly not. But with my fair share of “falling outs”, there’s something I know.  Not all relationships start out as forever, but some end up forever. It’s okay to take a break. There’s a beauty in the pause!


So, if you’re one of my friends that I’ve ever fallen out with or has ever fallen out with me please know I’m glad we fell out so we could figure out that sometimes there has to be a brief disconnection to make room for a beautiful reconnection. Hopefully we’ve lived and we’ve learned that what brings us together is much more important than what tore us apart… especially if it happened during an era where MC Hammer, A-symmetrical hair cuts, Guess jeans and fat gold chains were the order of the day.

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