It’s beginning to look a lot like chilly weather, and Christmas, and football, and gift giving, and gift getting, and party season, and snuggle time and all that good stuff. With that said, this “most wonderful time of the year” is often not so for the single sister. (Think of the jolly ol’ jingle, “What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas” and you’ll get my drift.)
I did some unofficial scientific research for this blog post with some amazing women who have been married and are now single, or have been married, were single and are now married, or have never been married at all to see how they survive. The answers will amaze you, inspire you, tickle you and teach you a thing or two about the tenacity of a woman committed to keep her sanity and “specialness” during a season that can cause you to want to lose both, possibly at the same time.
So, aside from the obvious of staying away from anyone or anything which brings out the worst in you what practical, sage advice did they share? Take a gander.
- Be the first to admit when this is an area of challenge for you and you really don’t know what to do.
- Get an accountability friend who you can keep it real with, but who can also keep you in check.
- Find healthy ways to keep yourself occupied that truly satisfy you.
- Discover what it is that you like to do and invest in yourself.
- Reinvent yourself for the better during your time of isolation.
- Spend time with friends and family who encourage your happiness, not the ones who accentuate your loneliness.
- Since many get lazier in winter months and want to cuddle more make sure you plan more activities and outings to keep you active and free from areas of temptation.
- Take trips, especially since prices are often lower in the fall and winter.
- Admit if you’re feeling sad or lonely so that you can address it and deal with it properly.
- Appreciate the beauty of now.
- Help others who don’t have the luxury of being single and might need a babysitter.
- Form a sister circle with other women who can use and offer some support, fellowship and fun.
- Surround yourself with things which lift you spiritually and don’t necessarily speak to satisfying the human, hormonal parts of you.
- Be careful of the television shows and movies you watch. Suspense and horror fare much better than love and romance.
- Start a new hobby.
- Date yourself.
- Get involved in your church, small group, neighborhood or school association.
- Pray for yourself and have others pray for you.
- And whatever you do, just say no to Luther Vandross until those smooth vocals don’t stir up something that needs to simmer down.
How long are you going to hold on to what happened? Yes, it happened. Yes, it hurt. Yes, it caught you off guard. Yes, it’s (still) causing issues. Yes, it was embarrassing. Yes, it was unfair. But it’s over, which means you CAN overcome it.
I challenge you to still be concerned, but don’t continue to be consumed. Still handle matters, but don’t stay mad. Still discuss what happened (healthily), but don’t let that define you. Still go through your healing, but don’t get stuck in what hurt you. Still recognize the bruises, but don’t keep placing blame and whatever you do don’t become bitter. Still acknowledge the past, but don’t let people or any problems connected to it keep you there.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. The same is so for your process to redemption, but I double dog dare you to be as focused on the process to healing as you once were on the pain of what happened. The longer you hold on to your pain the longer it hurts. Today, decide to STOP, DROP and GO… on ‘bout your business and get ALL of the blessings that await you on the“other side” .
Angela Scott Moore has sported many hats in her lifetime. Some were cute, some not by choice and others brought a little chaos. All in all, each hat has helped her become the woman she is today and hopes to be in the future.
She’s a former broadcast anchor, reporter and producer, as well as a trained motivational speaker, fundraiser and marketing/public relations expert. Careers in Civic Service, Social Justice and Human Resources have recently been added to her list of “been there, done that” duties. She’s also a former pastor’s wife of nine years, having worked in full-time ministry, where the majority of her time was spent empowering women and girls. She’s overcome life-threatening and life-altering illnesses, divorce, loss of job, death of close loved ones and too much to post, all while purposely trying to maintain a smile, positive outlook, encouraging word and faith in God.
Angela is an avid inspirational blogger at http://www.angelamooreblog.wordpress.com and also a philanthropic community supporter who has served with more than 25 local and national organizations over her nearly 20 year professional career. Currently, as a hobby, she operates the blossoming, full-service public relations venture Amazing Kreations, offering media and event planning assistance at low, or no cost to small organizations, ministries and businesses. She also hosts a Facebook page devoted to divorce called I’m More Than What Happened.
Taking lessons learned from each phase of her ever-evolving life, Angela’s now donning the hat of a single woman on a single mission to use spoken and written words to remind others that Life Gets Better and it’s possible to look and be their best in the process.
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