How shall I say this? Guilt, be gone! For far too long many of us have walked around with a shroud of guilt over our heads that’s doing far more damage than good.
We feel guilty about poor choices. We feel guilty about how we think our actions affected our children or loved ones. We feel guilty about not being where we desire to be professionally, socially, financially or academically. We feel guilty about how we allowed others to treat us. We feel guilty about how others treated us even if we didn’t allow it. Some of us even feel guilty about being blessed.
Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt! Guilt simply serves no good purpose. All it does is hinder and hurt. It isolates us from freedom. It distances us from people who can help. It clouds our minds with confusion and it deceives us into thinking we have the right or…
I’m so pleased to announce my new blog Angela Eats the Ham! Please follow me at http://www.angelaeatstheham.wordpress.com to join me on my amazing adventures with food. My tagline is “From the Hood to the Hills and Every Delicious Bite in Between… so you know this will be fun!
My first post is called It’s Time to Eat. Take a gander to get your taste buds going.
Can’t wait to hear from you on here and over there!
A funny conversation with a friend revealed a special truth. We all need a garbage man in our life. Now, I know I just wrote about Get Yourself a Cheerleader, and I consider this post somewhat of a follow-up to those words of wisdom I’m trying to live by more than ever before.
A garbage man, however is different from a cheerleader for obvious and not so obvious reasons. Let’s just be real. We all have issues, struggles and troubles in life which, well, how shall I say this? They STANK! (Note: I said stank, not stink.) It’s during those less than pleasant times we need someone skilled in ridding us of our trash.
Think about it. A garbage man is probably one of the most valuable parts of our community. They are good at what they do. They are consistent. They are confidential. They are necessary. They don’t complain as they go about cleaning up messes. (When was the last time you heard someone outside your door sulking it up about having to clean things up? Never? Me either.) Garbage men also usually work early or during times when others aren’t around to gawk and gander at ALL that garbage. Those are all qualities we need in friends. Imagine a good, good friend as a garbage man helping clear out the trash of life, the debris and the stench that comes with it.
Garbage men deal with what others can’t or won’t.
Garbage men are skilled at taking our stinky things exactly where they need to go, with no possibility of us running into it again.
Garbage men don’t mind being behind the scenes for the greater good.
Garbage men don’t comment on what’s in our trash can or the things causing things to stink.
Garbage men don’t carry the stink of others themselves (They are skilled at making sure they rid themselves of what they’ve helped others be rid of.)
Garbage men aren’t afraid to get down and dirty for the sake of the job at hand.
Garbage men handle their business no matter what’s going on in the environment, climate or culture around them.
I’d say a few more garbage men are in my future. What about you? Why don’t you go up to a friend or two and propose this pressing question…”Will you be my garbage man? Check YES, NO or MAYBE.” Lol! (I crack me up!)
I’ll be honest. I wasn’t a fast fan of Facebook when it first made its options open for non-collegiate grown folk like me. I’d heard of the damage done to relationships where affairs and the likes were allowed to live, and I’d experienced firsthand a person I knew become consumed with it spending far too much time attending to “the book”.
Well, in 2010, I decided to bite the bullet and join Facebook in an effort to stay connected to those I would know longer see on a regular basis due to my divorce, to connect with new and encouraging associates and to reconnect with those I needed for my awesome at times, and not so much at others, new journey. Since that time, I’ve become a fan of what I once seriously/jokingly referred to as “the devil”, recognizing the powerful potential Facebook offers to foster healthy relationships, stay connected, get important messages out, build business, provide laughter, promote encouragement and the likes. I’ve also noticed some things that I’m sure Facebook wasn’t made for. I’m not talking about the typical ease with which illicit associations and drama that puts “Empire” to shame can occur. I’m not talking about the bitter and very vocal hurting woman or man who uses the “Book” to continually put her/his child’s other parent on blast. I’m not hinting at the scantily clad photos or rants that should literally and figuratively disappear (but won’t because once it’s out there it’s out there). I’m not speaking to the cyber-bullying which should cease immediately. I’m not even referring to the poor grammar which pains me to my core each time I scroll by it. I’m speaking to the self-inflicted hurt which causes humans to question themselves or question others based on what someone posts. And while this effect is not at all caused by Facebook, it is certainly conducive to breeding unwarranted anger, misplaced hurt, self-doubt, or distrust if there are internal issues which allow it to do so.
Again, there is much to say about social media and the damage it can do in the hands of hurting humans who use it irresponsibly. However, there is much good which has come about as well. Now, I’ve not spoken to Mr. Zuckerberg (yet), but I can imagine, after having seen the Social Network movie with my friend-in-my-head Justin Timberlake in it, that Mark didn’t create Facebook for any of the following:
Facebook is not made to make us feel left out, excluded, forgotten, ignored or unwanted when we see pictures and posts which may not include us. (It’s just not, and that’s as plain as I can put it. There are a myriad of reasons for things, none of which should ever have us feel bad about ourselves or feel bad about those who truly care whether we were invited or not. Read my blog to find out why: https://angelamooreblog.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/i-dont-want-to-come-to-your-stinkin-party-anyway/)
Facebook is not made to have us scroll through posts and feel somebody else’s life is better than ours. (Every single body goes through something. We can’t let the ability to smile, laugh, mix or mingle (even through pain) fool us into thinking there’s something wrong with us because of what we perceive to be right with others.)
Facebook is not made to have us scroll through pictures and posts and feel somebody thinks their life is better than ours. (They may feel that way. If so. Pray. On the other hand, they may simply just be glad to be alive and want to share it with their world.)
Facebook is not made to make us compare and compete. (It was made to like, comment, share, post, friend, follow, defriend or unfollow. We can’t let a spirit of comparison ruin the beauty that lingers within Facebook or any form of social media.)
Facebook is not made to make us. (It’s social media, which means it in no way, shape, form or fashion rules or reigns over the other amazing aspects of our lives. It should not be our only source of “go-to” communication. It should not take the place of good, old-fashioned chit-chat. It should not be where we post important things, hope others notice and get upset if they don’t. It should not define us based on likes, friends, followers or requests.)
I’ve been observing relationships lately. Not just relationships along the lines of “boos” and “baes” (I truly detest the word bae for some reason), but relationships between families, friends, coworkers and comrades.
I’ve witnessed in others, and seen for myself the figurative Negative Nellies, Doubting Deborahs, Cynical Sams, Tear apart Tommies and Gossipping Glendas literally rip relationships to shreds for selfish gain and other unwise reasons. Like a bad bug in a pre-school classroom filled with less than hygienic children, the damage these types of hurting humans can do can be far-reaching and fast-spreading. Those kinds of people, God bless them, are like the hecklers in the sports crowd sent to distract from pending victory. They can throw a game plan off course in the worst possible ways.
Here’s the tea…You better get yourself a cheerleader. Cheerleaders do one thing. They cheer. Whether winning or losing they cheer. Whether it’s raining or snowing they cheer. Whether they feel like it or not they cheer. Whether you believe you can have victory or not they cheer. Whether you want to quit or not they cheer. Whether a large crowd or a couple of people they cheer.
Cheerleaders do not ever tell you to come off the field, leave your post, quit your position, question the coach, isolate from the players, forgo the huddle, heckle the fans, shirk the media or dodge practice. They cheer. They don’t try to call plays or interject their “if I was yous”. They cheer. They use words to motivate, stir up, empower and encourage. Why? Because they cheer. They don’t let your fatigue or their own get the best of them. They cheer. They don’t leave their post for a hot dog, nacho and pretzel run. Cheerleaders cheer. That’s all they do. They may say things you don’t want to hear, far more often than you want to hear it or not how you’d prefer hearing it but they cheer. They do their part to keep you in the game, whether you want to be or not, and they hopefully help you win. So I say again, “get yourself a cheerleader”, and if you’re bold enough, wise enough and serious enough you may as well get yourself a whole squad. #rahrah #sisboombahhhh
There’s so much I could say about my hopes and dreams for year 43. I’m believing God for some major, major blessings, changes, improvements, opportunities and opportunities (yes, I said it twice) this year. I’m just in awe of Him and who He has been in my life, in spite of me. There’s also so much I could say about my tango with year 42. What a year it was, not defined by anything extra, extra defining, but still a year filled with gratitude, life’s lessons, loving family and friends, personal challenges, a few perceived setbacks, an abundance of laughs, and some testimonies to tout.
While looking for some “thinking of you” cards in my stack of cards I have I ran across a whole heap of “thank you” cards. My first response was, “why on earth did I buy all of those thank you cards.” My second response was, “and why on earth haven’t I used them.”
I have so much and sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many for which to be thankful. There’s nothing like a birthday to remind me of just that. The Lord has truly blessed me with some amazing examples of His love here on earth. Coming in all forms, from far and near, daily chatters or irregular conversers, cheerleaders and correctors, old acquaintances and new found favorites, family and friends, blacks and whites, the pepper to my salt or the fire to my ice, I am thankful for each person who plays a part in my life.
Along with the list of personal goals I plan to accomplish this year, I plan to put those thank you cards to use letting people I know and love know that I love and thank them dearly for being who they are for me. And that, my friends is my idea of an ideal birthday and year. So let’s get this party started with a great big “THANK YOU!”