Have you ever wanted to get something off of your chest so badly that the thought of launching a verbal private and/or public dissertation in defense of whatever you deemed to be wrong seemed like the right thing to do? I have. I was talking to a loved one about my pet peeves recently. Three of the top ones include feeling like my voice is not being heard, being misunderstood and misrepresented with no opportunity to shed light, and seeing others assume the worst first in others and/or me. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. When those things transpire my gut reaction is to put a rebuttal or proactive pose in action. Sometimes that way of response has proven well, and made things better. Other times, not so much.
Anywho, that’s where I am today regarding some matters that matter. Yesterday I was ready to take a cue from the Yellow Pages of old and “let my fingers do the talking” by giving someone an earful via the internet (as in email). After all. I’m a writer, not a fighter. I’m not the one to do anything damaging or defensive physically, but I have been known to use my voice and my pen (or laptop) to state my case. My words speak for themselves. And again, sometimes that way of response has proven well, and made things better. Other times, and often times, not so much.
Feeling anger from an interaction with someone I know, I was mid-way into the third tennis-matchesq exchange via email about some pertinent business when the loved one I mentioned a few paragraphs ago called to check on me causing me to lose the text I’d typed. Drats!!!!!! Dagnabit!!! Fiddle Darn Sticks!!!! I informed that person of what I lost while answering the phone and what I was planning to say and the response was “Let it go, Angela. Let it go.”. I heard that message loudly and clearly. What this person wanted to tell me is “shut up and trust God.” While they didn’t say that I did gather quickly that sometimes things should simply not be said. The going back and forward often incites more than it improves. The public defense can often smear a person’s name (as in the one speaking) more than it can clear it. Reminding a person of his/her responsibilities, commitments or requirements often stir up more anger than action. And the mental and emotional anguish often accompanying the “I got him or her told” syndrome simply isn’t worth it especially when the only way a person can and will really change is from God’s work within, and without our feisty or fiery words. I got it.
My youngest nieces have a huge problem with people who say “shut up”. Their quick, and sincere response is often, “Hey, don’t say that. That’s inappropriate.” So today I won’t, and usually I don’t. I’ll simply opt to say to myself “shush up and trust God.” #silence