So, today is the final day of #bloglikecrazy and of course, I’m going off course, and not blogging about what I said I would blog about. But I am blogging and that’s quite a feat for me over the last 30 days. Yay!
Today I’m not feeling by best as I battle a pesky little respiratory something that’s been hanging on too long. Poof. Be gone. Please. Nonetheless, I woke up in the middle of the night last night with the thought of “fake it until you feel it”. My first thought was, “why in the world am I up and why is that what came to mind?” Anywho, almost instantly I became aware of why that thought was so pressing it had to interrupt my post-Soul Train Awards slumber.
There are matters in life sometimes which require us to have gratitude and act like we’re content while simultaneously and gingerly getting ready to make a run for the door at the first sign of a green light. That’s the great balance of life. That’s where I find myself regarding a couple of things, but one thing in particular. I’m smack dab in the middle of grateful and get the heck out of dodge. I’ll be honest. I’m not feeling that feeling. There’s a change I desire and feel I deserve which has been weighing heavily (not in a bad way, but in a “I know this is not my final stopping place” kind of way.) You know the feeling you have when you know time is expiring or it’s time for something new and you’re just waiting on the opportunity to politely serve whatever it is the “thank you for your services” papers so it and/or you can move on to something so much greater? Again, not that it and/or you are bad, but sometimes you just know it’s time to go, but you can’t act like it because you don’t want to put a rush on anything God is doing, especially at the urging of a bad attitude and being ungrateful.
So what do you do? And by you, I mean me. We fake it until we feel it. Whether we understand the timing of God, like it, or agree with it is not the challenge. His ways and works are not for us to always understand. The challenge is being able to get on board, mustering up enough “uumph” to act like we do until we actually do so we can really be ready to move. It’s about being grateful while waiting on the green light. So, if you see me acting “extra” about any one or a few areas of my life just know it’s for a reason. I’m trying to learn some final lessons, exhaust all of my purposes in those areas, maximize whatever opportunities left, and get some things once and for all settled deep down within me so I can be trusted to move on to bigger, better, newer, and next.