Why Don’t You Have Kids?

As I reflect back on the hundreds of blog posts I wrote in 2015, this is one of a few I’m most proud of because of my transparency (believe it or not, I’m a very private person). I hope you are encouraged and inspired.

Life Gets Better

“Why don’t you have kids, Sweet Tee?” those were the words blurted out by my five-year-old niece as she sat in the back of my car battling a stomach bug which would have given the grownest of grown-ups a run for their money. Riding along for what seemed like two hours instead of 30 minutes as she “released” things which obviously didn’t want to be in her body, and didn’t car that we were in an enclosed care on the interstate, it was as if each time she “released” a sweeter than normal spirit would come over her causing her to profess her resounding love for her little sister, gaze out of the window and declare how special rainbow-colored uniforms are or apologize profusely for the mess she was making. Just before we arrived on the long, winding road leading to my neighborhood she whispered barely above a whisper the…

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Why Won’t He Just Leave Me Alone?

If someone would have told me in my teens and 20s I’d be sharing tough lessons learned with others in their teens and 20’s in my ripe old age of 43 I would have laughed and walked away. But as life would have it, that’s the case. A recent conversation with a beautiful sister a decade or so younger presented me with the question, “Why won’t he just leave me alone?”


Let me just say, (as I feel I say often), God has a sense of humor. I suppose that’s to be expected since He created it. That phrase, “why won’t he just leave me alone?” was one of my go-go questions regarding relationships which I might have known going in wasn’t right, or found out quickly in the mix that it was a mess. In a party of pity and perceived helplessness I would pose this prose to whomever would hear. I probably got on people’s nerves about a couple of “not-to-be-named, thank you for reading my blog, I’m glad we’re friends now” exs. Anywho, my pity party was especially frequented by my girlfriends in similar situations who would back me up with, “I know, girrrrlllll! He need to just go on ’bout his business if he know he ain’t right” and other silly sentiments we shared in our season of development. Thankfully, I had some wise women, too, who would tell me what I needed to hear, even if I didn’t always listen.


Here’s what I now know and freely offer to others. The same power I placed in others hands I held firmly in my own. I didn’t have to wait on them to leave I could do it myself. Eureka! (Plus, let’s be real, what man (or human) is going to readily walk away from something or someone who is giving him everything he wants even if he knows he doesn’t deserve it?)

The true testament of strength is not what we hold out for others to do. It’s what we do for ourselves.  And a real, strong, grown woman can do it, even when it hurts, even when it crushes the hopes and dreams and concocted wedding plans she had and be okay with it knowing that she deserves the best, AND she can turn around and accept her role in the failed relationship, heal, forgive and move on with a smile on her face and some treasured memories and lessons in her heart. So ladies, (and I’m speaking only to single ladies, not covenant bound married women as that’s a WHOLE ‘nother ballgame), if you know he is not right for you (and you know you know he’s not right) don’t hold off for him to part ways. Bid adieu (that means say goodbye, farewell, holla at ya, peace out, I’m ghost, ta-ta, so long, adios, or sayonara) for you.



No Regrets

As we look forward to a new year, many sadly look back in regret. A new year with unfulfilled hopes, delayed promises and feeling like love, joy, blessings and/or peace have abandoned them may have some considering giving up. (Don’t give up.) It’s funny, reflecting on the close of a year can seem to some like a circus-worthy balancing act between expectation, exhaustion and utter embarrassment. It can cause you to wonder if the memo on THIS IS MY YEAR didn’t make it to your mailbox, email address, bank account, student loan account, relationship status box, SMS, DM or BM (if you still rock with Blackberry.) That can be frustrating and discouraging. That’s not how life is meant to be lived, regardless of what the calendar says.


We can’t live in regret and truly live. Yes, we all make mistakes in the form of words we wish we could take back, actions we desire to correct, people we choose to forget (oops, did I say that?), opportunities we missed, opportunities which haven’t yet found us, obstacles we’ve faced and all things else which represent life. But we have to hold on to hope, sticking to it like Gorilla glue and working the plan God has laid out specifically for us until we realize we’ve already won. I know things might have been a bit dark(er) in 2016. That’s no reason to throw in the towel. It’s all the more reason to stick to it and SHINE!!!


“Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.”-Malcolm Stevenson Forbes


Christmas: The Remix

I took a nap and woke up to find that the traditional full, big Christmas dinner she (as in my darling Mama) fixed was replaced by hot wings, rotel dip, tuna, a Patti pie and other Happy Birthday, Jesus “party” foods.
At time of posting, 6:52pm, we haven’t opened a single gift yet. That is an extra-ordinary rarity in our household where showering each other with gifts as quickly as possible while celebrating the birth of Christ has long been a staple.
Here’s the tea…No one is complaining. We’re just as content as a hoarder in Sam’s and all feet are elevated and reclined in relaxation. We’ve evolved into some new-fanged holiday celebrators and I like it!

Christmas: The Remix 2015 edition is pretty darn swell! I hope yours is as well.


Getting in the Spirit

So….my traditional Christmas spirit I’ve felt and welcomed for decades is taking its time to reach me. I can’t explain it, however I gave clues, but I don’t like it and will not accept it as acceptable. That sense of unexplained “uugh” I am fighting ain’t” nobody but the defeated devil just mad because he’s defeated.
I’ve heard from others that I’m not the only one. 
Jesus has been too good to me. I owe Him. Therefore, I shall not, not, whole-heartedly be in the spirit for the One born so I might have life and have it abundantly. So I will celebrate from the inside out with expectations of a full-on praise party overflowing by Friday and beyond…regardless.

If you’re struggling this year to press through circumstances to celebrate join me in this prayer.


Sometimes You Have to Do What You Have to Do

I just love my friends. While, not many in number, the ones I do have all serve a wonderful purpose for me, and I hope I do the same. An early morning text-fest with one of my dearest buddies in another part of the country confirmed this post I was working on, and prompted the title, “Sometimes You Have to Do What You Have to Do”.

Is it just me or does it appear for anyone else, that the older you get the more you have to do things you don’t want to do? I thought adulthood meant more control over matters mattering to me, when actually it means making more tough choices. Go figure.


Anywho, my sister-friend and I were discussing friendship. She was relinquishing a new personal friendship she thought was promising, and was looking forward to.  She was reshaping her circle of friends and desiring some special, new people to share her amazing world. I too have had to rethink some friendships in years past, and as recently as right now, as I’ve maturely evaluated the expiration date on some long-standing associations, and am positioning myself to allow the pruning to take place. That’s a tough pill to swallow or chew, especially if you’re social and enjoy the blessings of true friendship like we do. This morning, in fact, I asked God to enlarge my social circle. I guess one sure fire way for that to happen is for me to make room by allowing some faces and spaces to be moved.

But it’s not just making tough choices in friendships. Adulthood also means going places you don’t want to go for the sake of the greater good. (Think of that family function or office event you dread.) Giving things you really don’t have in abundance to spare for the purpose of another. (Like clothes, money when you’re in need of money or a coveted parking space at the mall during Christmas shopping season.) Sticking in jobs you are ready to transition from because wisdom tells you it’s best to wait when your emotions are speaking something totally different. (No explanation needed). The list of “I REALLY don’t want to do this, but I will” can go on and on. I suspect, the older I get, the more it could really grow longer.

The beauty of it all is that one day it will make sense. And usually the more I’ve not wanted to do something that I’m clearly going to have to do anyway, the better I am in the long run.