I’ll be the first to admit that I’m different. Call me quirky. Say I march to the beat of my own drum. Or even better, know that I would prefer the melodic tune of wind-chimes over a drum actually, but just know that I know I’m different.
It took me a while to embrace that, but I’ve finally arrived at my I’m different destination and I’m sorta glad to be here. There are things about all of us which make us who we are. Sometimes it’s the things which, at one point, might have been a source of embarrassment, contention or frustration, or might have been bore from something painful which now define us in a uniquely, positive way.
With that said, am I the only one who:
- Washes her hair before getting her hair professionally washed?
- Doesn’t eat a steak biscuit, chicken biscuit, sausage biscuit or any meat/biscuit combo together…together, but prefers to eat it separately? (And gets in trouble with her father to this day for doing that?)
- Doesn’t bite hot dogs or hamburgers?
- Puts an extra coat of nail polish on immediately after getting my nails done?
- Doesn’t clean up before company comes if I know they have children under the age 5?
- Doesn’t eat hot sauce?
- Just started eating salad three or four years ago?
- Tears the paper straw paper in a knot and pulls it out to see if someone is thinking about her? Then steals the straw paper from my friends if my knot doesn’t come out to test the test again with hopes of a different outcome?
- Who can parallel park like a BOSS, but can’t park in reverse without four or five attempts?
- Doesn’t like to see crooked clocks, figurines or fixtures and MUST fix them?
- Likes walking outdoors with no shoes on, but would never go outside with a headscarf on?
- Considers a trip to Leonard’s or the restaurant in the middle of Whole Foods as a hot date?
- Prefers (as in must have) clothes organized according to color and style?
- Prefers (as in must have) canned goods organized according to what’s what?
- Has never had Ramen Noodles?
- Gets fully dressed and hops back in bed?
- Absolutely can’t stand sleeping with socks?
- Became allergic to shrimp and lobster, asthmatic and developed acne in her 40s?
- Wakes up happy before 6am on Saturdays and Sundays?
- Wastes food on her clothing 93% of the time she eats whether publicly or privately? (And teaches etiquette?)
- Prefers the more abundant Angela over the one they used to call “package” or “slim”?
- Can put on a full face of makeup in the bed, and in the dark sometimes with no handheld mirror?
- Can’t spit without making a noise? (Just ask my sister. She hates to hear me brush my teeth…LOL!)
- Has never done a cartwheel?
- Can’t twerk? (Did I just type that? Oops, I hope my Mama and Aunt aren’t reading this, followed by the subsequent question of “how do you know you can’t?”)