Dear Portly Provider,
I need your knee. I have a list of needs, well, not needs, but major wants which I want to run by you. I’d like to plop right down on your sturdiest of red velvet covered legs to share this list.
I know there are important things in this world like peace and unity on earth, help for the impoverished, financial stability for those in need, curing of diseases, love, joy, and kindness which matter much more. I’m not even putting that pressure on you though. Jesus has that covered. However, I’m just dropping this little list off for you with hopes that you’ll do the same for me. Get it? As in, you dropping these gifts off under my not-yet-put-up Christmas tree.
Anywho, wanna know what I want? Here it goes:
- An all-expenses paid, fun, long, money flowing, fear-free (I’m not trying to deal with any “we hate America” issues) trip to New York City, Las Vegas, DC/Baltimore, Chicago, West Palm Beach, Cali, Arizona, and Washington for my loved ones and me with more star sightings than a planetarium, more deals than the day after Christmas, more relaxation than a yoga studio on hiatus and more food than anywhere where there’s lots of food.
- A new, book writing-worthy laptop with more bells and whistles than the North Pole.
- A new fancy-smancy, straight to social media digital camera for maximum blogation.
- Money to do something so special for my parents that it makes both of them do their special dances which only come out when my Daddy has eaten something tasty and when my Mama is reminiscing about her days wanting to dance growing up.
- A legitimate hook-up on Bobbi Boss Indy Remi (Like, could I be their spokesmodel or something and get bundles as a blessing?)
- A closet full of CUTE clothes in my very own house that fit and someone to give away mine that don’t. (Did you catch me slide in “my very own house”? Pay attention big guy!)
- Lifelong, amazing, friendly, Alabama loving boos (as in husbands) for all of my girlfriends so that our husbands and us can continue the tradition of love, fun and support together even when we’re old and grey, or covered in some spicy blond for which we’re way to old to wear, but wear anyway.
- Tickets to see the University of Alabama win their College Football Championships.
- An amicable break up with Navient, Chase and Wells Fargo which leaves us both smiling. I’d prefer to smile MUCH BIGGER than them, please.
- Paying clients for my writing, speaking and PR skills.
- Anything else I’m afraid to type but you know I want or need.