Being single can be HARD! It can also be very helpful in shaping women and men to become better for the next level of life whether marriage is included or not.

As mentioned in my previous blog post The ABC’s of Singlehood pt. 1 , in March 2017 I had an opportunity to speak to single women and married couples at the Can You Relate Conference 2017 hosted by Algernon and Taneisha Tucker. It was great for me too as my newlywed husband and I learned so much from the others. I spoke on the ABCs of Singlehood and thought I’d share a few more tidbits of what God and a lot of mistakes in life afforded me to know.

Here’s 9-17. Stay tuned for pt. 3 coming soon!

• I-Improve those qualities you know you need improved whether single or not.
  • If you know your attitude is bad (and you know you know) or you are selfish, or you’re lazy, or you have problems committing singlehood is the season to get those things together…by yourself.

• J-Join groups to help you grow and stay occupied…a church small group, a book club, a Sassy Singles dinner club, etc.
  • Do something with yourself while single. You can boost your resume, build up your “team” and who knows, bae or boo might be waiting on you in the very group you join.

• K-Keep the desires of your heart. If marriage is your desire, don’t let anything or anyone take it from you.
  • Do. Not. Stop. Believing. Marriage. Is. Possible. For. You. Point. Blank. Period.

• L-Learn new hobbies and skills like cooking, how to change a tire, how to refurbish a chair, how to install hardwood, how to cut coupons, how to fly fish or something.

• M-Make sure your expectations of a mate are being matched by you. Don’t want what you can’t give.
  • If you can’t afford steak don’t be mad because he can only afford hamburger helper. If you don’t have good credit don’t place unfair pressure on a man to have it because you don’t. If you aren’t bringing just as much to the table don’t be mad when you aren’t able to eat. Expectations of a mate should be matched by what we have to offer. A man is not your ATM, TransUnion savior, heart fixer, daddy do over or ticket to come up. Come up on your own time and own dime so you can help him come up even more.

• N-Never let social media deceive you, make you feel less than, lead you to comparisons or have you become hopeless.
  • Don’t let Facebook, Snapchat and any other mode of media make you think married people are perfect, or that you, somehow because you’re not married are less than or will never have the love you desire…and all the extra good, and not as good stuff which comes along with it.

• O-Open up your list of “I Want” in a mate to include, at the top, God’s list of “You Need” in a mate.
  • Be rid of those superficial things like how he dresses, what his salary looks like (now), where he’s from, how long he’s had the removable goldfront and all that good, not so good stuff which WILL NOT matter at the end of the day when you look back and laugh at how far God has brought you both because He brought you together.

• P-Pray for yourself, for the mate you desire, for you all together, for patience, etc.
  • Pray. Pray. Pray…for him, for you, for his friends, for his mind, for his future job, for your patience, for his tolerance of you and all your “quirks”, for your future children, for everything that comes along with marriage. You can do this even before you meet the man.

• Q-Quit settling.
  • I like to say Settling is for Quakers. Whatever you do while single don’t settle for less than who and what you know you deserve. Know your value and stop slinging discounts like a KMart Blue Light Special.
    • And if you don’t know what you deserve ask somebody who knows better.

To be continued…

@AngelaMichele316