Deuces Sallie, Deuces

If you’ve read any of my blog posts since I started you’ll know that I’ve tried to be very honest about the different seasons the Lord has had me in in life. With that said, it’s no secret or even shame of mine to say that I have struggled financially the last few years like never before. I won’t go into reasons now, as I’m still waiting for the final testimonies of this long-enduring test. (And when I tell you it’s coming…oh boy, it’s coming!!!) But today, in the midst of it all I have a praise report. God saw fit to allow me to FINALLY PAY OFF MY STUDENT LOANS!!!!!!!! Yep, you read correctly. I’m officially on the outs with Sallie Mae, or Navient as she now calls herself. No more letters, no more automated phone calls, no more “pay me now” emails, no more rolling my eyes as I tore the little paper out of the payment book, no more emails to my old Hotmail account (cause that’s how long we’ve been in this love/hate relationship). Nope… nothing, nada, zilch!

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I’m thankful for my stellar education from The University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa. My degree, and associations rooted there have certainly served me well. I recognize that many weren’t blessed to even be able to take a loan out to pursue education. I’m also aware that many aren’t in a place yet to pay or pay off that debt. However, if someone would have told me the route to pay off my portion of that academic honor would take two decades I probably would have sold some plasma (or something), styled hair in my dorm on the side or worked five part-time jobs just to not have taken this journey. But I didn’t and that’s life.

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So yes, it took 20 years to finally pay off and the timing came when things were as financially tight as a pair of brand new Spanx, but God was faithful to me even when I wasn’t faithful to Him. And He was certainly faithful to me when I was NOT thinking about being faithful to paying that doggone bill every month. He did that!!!

All glory goes to my great God!

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@AngelaMMoore316

It’s Never Too Late to Learn

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Earlier this year a story was published about a 99-year-old woman who, against all kinds of odds, went back to school to obtain her associate degree in social sciences. Doreetha Daniels made it through strokes, hearing and sight issues and the loss of her driver’s license to be able to become the oldest graduate of College of the Canyons in California. At 99-years-old, she’d done this after also overcoming the Great Depression, WWII, the Civil Rights movement, and the rest of history which happened as whatever else was going on in her life was also happening. As only someone who’s had to live by her own personal mantra, when asked her advice for others, Ms. Daniels offered words of wisdom to others simply saying, “Don’t give up.”

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Just this week I was having a conversation with a friend about school. We were talking about how far she’d come and how close to the finish line she was, as obvious by the pressing thought of her taking a break being so pronounced. She’d done so much and accomplished so much that it was only natural, this close to the finish line, to want to plop down on the bench for a spell. Sometimes we have to do that. Some other times we have to just keep on pressing. There are only two people who can make the final call of which way to go…God and you. Anywho, after talking to my friend I thought about myself. At age 43, and primed for some new, exciting career and civic experiences, I questioned if I too, had plopped down on the bench for a spell, not knowing my time there had long ago expired. I’ve had many amazing jobs in life, and many opportunities for unconventional, continued learning since college, but I have a feeling, thanks to my dear friend, that the time is now for more. Like Ms. Daniels, I think it’s about time for me to get back in the learning game. I don’t know how that looks. I don’t know where that will be. I don’t know if it will be in a class, in front of a computer, some simple research, obtaining certifications, some seminars, webinars, conferences or retreats, studying a mentor or intense shadowing. I definitely don’t know how I’ll do it, but I do know that there are new passions within me ready to be put into certified action. I lied. They’re actually not new. They’ve been simmering on low for quite a while. I’ve just been on the bench sleeping, and sleeping on them. It’s time for them to wake up and make me some money, and more importantly some impact in the world around me.

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When I was growing up I had a larger than most head. (Take a look at any of my fabulous photos and you can see that the same remains.) When children would say I had a “big head” I would reply with my hand on my made-up hip that, “It was because I had a big brain so I could learn a lot” #Boom Don’t ask me how I came up with that reply to prove my point to them, but it worked. I would shut that adolescent banter down like nobody’s business. Now, with hands on my real hips, it’s time to put that little quip into action, expanding the knowledge in my brain and proving a point to no one other than Angela Michele Scott Moore (until I get a new last name one day). It’s never too late to learn.

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@AngelaMMoore316

You’re Not the First, But You Can Be the Last

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Newsflash…what you’re going through is nothing new. You’re not special when it comes to the trials of life.

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So here’s the skinny…

  • Your money is not the only money which acts as if it’s forgotten your checking account number.
  • Your ex is not the first ex to do something to make him or her an ex.
  • Your children are not the first children to forget your rules or how they were raised.
  • Your job is not the first job to fail to value you in pay or praise.
  • Your friends are not the first friends to disappoint their friends.
  • Your family member is not the first family member to abandon, under-appreciate or fail to support a family member.
  • Your dreams are not the first dreams to take the long, long, long route to arrival.

The fact of the matter is you’re not the first to go through anything you’ve gone through. However, you can be the last to allow it to define you, permanently damage you, hinder you or steal your joy.

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@AngelaMMoore316

Nobody’s Perfect and That’s Perfectly Okay

Here’s a secret that’s been silent too long. Nobody’s perfect.

No person is perfect. No job is perfect. No organization is perfect. No group of friends is perfect. No church is perfect. No family is perfect. No school is perfect. No marriage is perfect. No civic or social setting is perfect. Plain and simple, nobody’s perfect, and that’s perfectly okay.

So, with that said we have to decide to allow imperfect people, places and things to be just that and not place expectations on them which are impossible to fulfill. We have to continue to look for the good in humans, even the fake, flawed, phony, misguided, messed up, hurting and discombobulated ones, who are sometimes and often not too unlike us. We have to cut slack, operate in forgiveness, take the pressure off and allow room to grow just like God does for us daily. Not that all people are meant to be in our lives. Some clearly are not, but some are, which means we can’t always cry foul and choose to remove ourselves from others at the whisking of the wind. Whether through example near or not as near we have to continue to learn from them, engage with them (if that’s God’s will), be open to others who may not or may be like them, and live life fully vested and invested in the notions that:

  1. We can’t always shut down and shut off from people.
  2. We can’t do life alone.
  3. We can’t hold on to the bad of one and place it on others.
  4. We can’t expect people to be, do and think as we are and do.
  5. We can’t always take things so personally and/or hold it permanently.
  6. We can’t isolate everyone and everything at the sign of unmet expectations.
  7. We can’t let the fear of being hurt stop us from being helped.
  8. And nobody’s perfect and that’s perfectly okay.

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@AngelaMMoore316

Girl, Somebody Lied to You!

Washing my hands in the restroom at work, gazing in the hazy mirror at my newly cut bangs (from a less than new sew-in) the words, “Girl, somebody lied to you” crossed my mind. I was shocked initially, almost wondering where this inner, loud whisper derived. As women, too many times than not, we have listened to lies from others about ourselves, lives from ourselves regarding others and even from ourselves regarding ourselves. Before you hop on an “all men are dogs” channel that I simply do not and will not ever subscribe to do know that I’m not referring to the “player, cheater or not quite mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a relationship” kind of man we might have knowingly entertained or naively encountered. I’m talking about the bold face lies society, unwise influencers, and our own misguided hopes and dreams might have told us. (BTW…is a bold face lie different from a scared face lie? #ija) I digress.

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I started thinking of a list of a lot of lies we, as incomparably beautiful, God-created, life-giving, purpose-overflowing, love-filled, spiritually gifted women, need to know longer believe about us if we’re going to be the fabulous, fabulous women we were all created to be. I’m not listing lies, as I prefer truth. So below I offer you a sampling of seeing yourself from a different point of view.

  1. A man or marriage won’t make you happy. (Ask a bunch of other married, dating and no longer married women how we know. Happiness is an exclusive right. No help is needed. I promise this one is true so if you were clinging to it like a newborn to its milk machine please let it go.)
  2. Marriage won’t cure your ills. (If struggling with financial mismanagement, loneliness, fornication, low self-esteem or any other issues before marriage, and not taking steps to be healed from it, an “I Do” doesn’t take it away. It just shifts it into another gear.)
  3. You really don’t need makeup. (I “heart” make up. I really, really do, but I know that it is strictly an enhancement to all the goodness, flaws and all, about us which already exist, but it is not a necessity. We’re fine with or without it. Literally, and figuratively.)
  4. Your voice is important. (Often as women we feel our voice, opinion, thoughts, ideas or histories aren’t embraced so they must not be important. They are and must be heard. Ya heard?)
  5. Women can be friends. (Forget the Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday night reality show and social media fighting. Women are social creatures by Godly design. More importantly, we’re communicators, which means we are equipped to get along, stay together, talk it out, establish trust and enjoy the love, support and influence of other women meant to walk this amazing journey called life with us.)
  6. Your hips are hot. (Don’t be fooled. Those areas in which you carry as a testament to your DNA, your life’s struggles, your overcome medical obstacles…childbirth included, or whatever is behind the story of your behind and its less than perfect body buddies is beautiful. As is. No pun intended.)
  7. Being spiritual, smart, sincere and sophisticated is haute. (It is absolutely popular and eternally trending to have a relationship with God and show it, speak properly, use correct spelling and grammar in formal and less than formal writings, be kind, be generous, showcase your knowledge in all types of settings, pursue higher education, be classy, carry poise, and take the lead as lead in areas of which you know you are gifted.)
  8. Your spiritual Father has the first and final say-so. (For those who have bore the pain of the lack of presence from an earthly father or a proper one, do know that your real Daddy is the MAN! He loves you, won’t leave you, is trustworthy, will show up when He promised, won’t forget a birthday, has you on His mind all the time and loves you. Yes, I said He loves you twice just so it can settle in.)
  9. Pouty mouths, duck lips, and frowny faces can’t compete with a smile. (I don’t know who hijacked the smile, but I demand a swift return. Ladies, nothing says “confident, sexy, approachable, mature, friendly, or comfortable in the skin I’m in” like a good, old-fashion smile. Try it. Often. Please.)
  10. Gaining a new job, new house, new body, new man, new car, new degree, and/or new circle of influence is a blessing, but it won’t build you… and guess what, should you lose one, any or all of it, it won’t break you either. (Ask me how I know.)

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@AngelaMMoore316

You COLD Busted!

One of my favorite songs from the 80’s was Oran Juice Jones’, “The Rain”. In that melodic tale of love gone astray he belted out an often falsetto-esq tune about catching his unfaithful lover “walking in the rain”. With an infectious beat and a hypnotic hook, as if the song couldn’t get any better, mid-way through it goes into an all-out hip-hop inspired bridge (as in take me to the bridge), with my favorite line being “Now close yo mouth cause you cold busted”. When I tell you the middle school me loved that part! I loved that part, and suppose as indicated by the fact that I’m incorporating it into a blog post today, at 43-year-old the same must be true.

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So what does Mr. Juice Jones have to do with my life? Glad you ask. I’m headed in a different direction with this one so hold on tight.

Yesterday, after leaving work and before going back to work I decided to ride by a place representing something for which I was believing God. I’d only seen it online and wanted an up-close, “I have to see it for myself” view just to, well, see it for myself. After surveying what needed to be surveyed I began to head back to my destination of home before returning to work. I was focused on studying the environment I was in, when out of my peripheral view I noticed a car that looked like one of which I was very familiar. I reduced my speed to examine the cautiously moving black Mercedes with tinted windows. I slowed to an almost turtle’s pace. The driver of the other vehicle didn’t see me as they too tended to surveying what needed to be surveyed. And boy, there was some surveying going on. I used power from my right “lymphadema” wrist I didn’t know I had and laid on the horn, probably startling the driver as I now recall. Like a scene from a gansta-style, B-movie, we met window to window, pressed our buttons to roll down those said windows, stared and glared in disbelief then both broke out into a laugh that lasted so long I can’t recall when it actually stopped. And as if it were made just for me, the words from Mr. Juice Jones came to mind and out of my mouth as I said to the driver, “You cold busted!”

Who was this mysterious person? Glad you asked. It was my Mama, doing what caring, loving, supportive humans do. In the middle of the day with dilated eyes and glasses that would have made Ray Charles look even more fly, she was coming by to “see it for herself”, and pray (even though she didn’t tell me that’s what she was doing). I shared this funny story with my sister who quickly informed me that she had already been by the day before. Wow! Now that’s what I call love, and faith. My Pastor Chris Hodges preached a message on this past Sunday from Church of the Highlands called Better Together. He talked of the importance of not doing life alone and having others in your corner in times of good and bad. That’s what that 2pm Pelham, Alabama exchange with my mother was for me. She didn’t have to be there, and I wouldn’t have known that she was there joining me in this prayer had I not been there to see it for myself. She could have been home, shopping, napping, running errands or doing any other thing a 68-year-old retiree does, but instead she was exercising her faith and joining her daughter in that same exercise to see what God has in store.

(So, I snapped a picture of her near the “Scene of the Faith”. She begged me not to tell anybody I saw here there. Of course I said I would, hence this blog post. I hope today is one of those days she’s not reading by post.)

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And that, my friends, is what life is about. We all need and deserve people who are there for us whether we know it or not. I pray that everyone has those kinds of angels on earth whose faith, love, sacrifice, example, encouragement, support, prayers and kind actions toward us continually remind us of the amazingly beautiful and awesomely wonderful promises from God which are sure to come to pass…one way or another. 

May your days be filled with the best possible reasons to say #YouColdBusted

@AngelaMMoore316

Don’t Forget the Seeds

Let’s be real. It can be tough as an old Cordova’s “thickly cushioned” Corinthian leather (Google it) to think that things in life are going to change in our favor, especially when we desperately need things in life to change in our favor. This is the tea, and can be a serious struggle. Ask me how I know. The sweet-as-can-be sweetener in this tea, however, is the fact that in Romans 8:28 God promises that all the things we’re going through will work for our good if we love Him. And that He also promises in Galatians 6:9 that if we keep doing good we will reap if we don’t faint. That is some good news!

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So what do we do between this and that? I would suggest remembering our seeds. Talking to a friend recently who was going through some life-changing testimony builders (as I prefer to call them) I had to remind her of just how faithful to God and her situation she’d been, and how sacrificially kind she’d been to so many people, including me. She was in a time of need and needed to remember her seed. She’d sown some major blessings, that, while the main harvest might not have been meant for her, the residual reaping sure was.

Now don’t get God twisted. He’s not in the lottery business nor is He vying for Wayne Brady’s gig on “Let’s Make a Deal”. We can’t bet, barter and finagle with him like a mid-day game show or a midnight casino run. What we can do is know that, if we’ve done things to please Him and if we’ve been a blessing to His children, like any good Father, in fact the greatest Father, He’s got our back. No, that’s not going to mean that our situations will immediately improve. No, that’s not going to mean that we will necessarily reap from the exact people or places we’ve sown into. No, that doesn’t mean that it won’t even appear (note, I said appear) that somebody “done come all up in our crop” and plundered our stuff. But yes, Romans 8:28 and Galatians 6:9 are true, and there’s nothing any situation or struggle can do about it, but succumb to it. Bow down struggle. Bow down.

So, when we’re tempted to think all hope is gone, things can’t better, there’s no way out, this is as good (as in bad) as it’s going to get, and so on and so on, we can’t forget the seeds we’ve sown. And we certainly can’t forget the works and wonders God has already done. We have to ponder on our seeds and successes for a few then get right on up and sow some more. In fact, I dare us all to sow in the very area we need it most. Need money? Give money. Need a job? Volunteer. Want children? Babysit. Need a marriage miracle? Bless a couple. Desperate for healing? Care for the sick. Family matters? Help another one. Got it? Good! Now let’s get going, and keep sowing.

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@AngelaMMoore316

The Power of a Circle

Yesterday I almost cried. For seven months I’ve been spending either my Monday or Tuesday afternoon with students from Birmingham, Alabama’s Woodlawn High School through a Church of the Highlands Small Group called Steps to Success. Like clockwork these amazing 9th-12th graders would trek across the street from school to the Birmingham Dream Center, filing in one-by-one, some with smiles, some with giggles, and some with looks of sheer exhaustion, after spending a day learning within the four wall of the traditional academic atmosphere.

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Week-by-week they would come for another round of education through the small group I was blessed to be able to start just to spend another hour or so learning. Sure, there was Little Ceasar’s free pizza and the occasional Chick-fil-A sandwiches. Yes, there were my corny jokes, standard “Hey, y’all” when they walked through the door and required picture taking when they departed. Certainly there were amazing co-leaders leading and helping organize along side me like Mr. William, Ms. Jones and Ms. Helen from the Dream Center who made it all happen for us each week with welcome arms and a warm smile. Absolutely there were the speakers who showed up to give back each week sharing their professional advice, personal “oops, I made a mistake”, stories of struggle and triumph, wisdom, connections and God-given love. Don’t believe me? Just check and see who and how AWESOME they are. BTW…my friends and colleagues ROCK! #blessedtoknowthem

September 8: First and Lasting Impressions in Business and Life-Angela Moore

September 15: Law and/or Finance-William McKenzie

September 22: Mock Interviews and Networking –Angela Moore and Rikki Ross

September 29: Public Relations-Chanda Temple and Jeniese Hosey

October 6: US Air Force-Lacy Gunnoe

October 20: Media- Pamela Cook and Tasha Simone

October 27-Owning Your Own Business- Kim Colvin, Chandra Sparks Splond, Pastor Mike and Dee Edwards

November 3: Business and Public Safety- Annetta Nunn and Charlie Glover

November 10: Community Engagement-Bacarra Mauldin, Tanika Harrell, DeShunn Wilkerson, and Jennifer Hatchett

November 17: College 101-Kristalyn Lee

November 24: Science and Technology-Russell McClinton, Kaye Williams and Cynthia Byner

February 10: Soft Skills- Rikki Ross and Angela Moore

February 17: Design-Traci Ann Moore

March 3: Social Justice and Youth Leadership-Rebecca Harkless and Angela Moore

March 10: Social Work-Walter Robinson

March 17: Videography, Photography, Graphics-Patrick Johnson, Eric Jones and Terria Jones

March 24: Community Leadership- Taneisha Tucker and Charmel Taylor

April 7: Health- Michelle Bridges, RN

April 14: Life Enrichment-Dr. Mark Sullivan and Cassaundra Davis

April 21: Following Your Dreams-Joe Lockett, Melva Tate and Comedienne Joy of The Joe Lockett Show

April 28: The Truth About High School-Angela Moore

May 5: Law- William McKinley

May 12: Closing Ceremony with Returning Speakers

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Most importantly there were the students! These future veterinarians, computer program designers, cosmetologists, engineers, music producers, politicians, public speakers, medical experts, civic servants and sports analysts who also just so happen to be some of the brightest million dollar and nationally known scholarship winners, robotics team leaders, horticulture experts, basketball players, playwrights, student ambassadors and all-around good people filled the room and filled our hearts each week with their mere presence. Sometimes braving the cold, potential snow and heat while others were home, hanging out or being ordinary teens, these extraordinary human beings showed up each week and soared. The ease at which they trusted the help of strangers, pouring out their thoughts and questions had me in awe. Their spunk, inquisitiveness and support of each other inspired me. The things they learned and taught simultaneously in our often-lopsided circle will stick with me forever.

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Who knows where all these mighty agents of change will go in life. No one but God for sure. But I can speak on behalf of all those who spoke to them during the Steps to Success Small Group and safely say I’m glad I was in the circle along for a part of their journey, and can’t wait to see where it takes them.

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@AngelaMMoore316