The ABC’s of Singlehood pt. 3

Being single can be HARD! It can also be very helpful in shaping women and men to become better for the next level of life whether marriage is included or not.

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As mentioned in my previous blog post The ABC’s of Singlehood pt. 1 and The ABC’s of Singlehood pt. 2, in March 2017 I had an opportunity to speak to single women and married couples at the Can You Relate Conference 2017 hosted by Algernon and Taneisha Tucker. It was great for me too as my newlywed husband and I learned so much from the others. I spoke on the ABCs of Singlehood and thought I’d share a the last tidbits of what God and a lot of mistakes in life afforded me to know.

Here’s the rest…which happens to start with Rest.

R-Remember to rest. You can’t want a man to take care of when you don’t take care of yourself.

S-Stay far, far away from the wrong somebodies. (You know exactly who they are. You know exactly what they do or you do that doesn’t need to be done. The date, location, or faces may change, but the foolishness which ALWAYS comes remains the same.)

T-Trust the process and purpose of singlehood. God knows what He’s doing, when He’s done and why it took so long in the first place.

U-Use this time to travel and have FUN! By no means is singlehood a green light to be boring. Be safe, but have fun. Be wise, but live. Be frugal but explore, learn, go and see.

V-View singlehood as a blessing, and treat it as such.

W-Work out. (Yikes!) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in the hands of the one who takes care of her temple. Firm hips, pouty lips and how low you can dip are not guaranteed.

X-eXude eXcellence Yes, I cheated with this letter. Carry yourself in such a way that greatness, love, humility and confidence, kindness, poise, and contentment are what others see.

Y-Yield to wisdom from those who know what you don’t yet know, like the married people, divorced people and single people who are perfectly okay where they are.

Z-Zip your lips to complaining about any and all seasons of your singlehood. Don’t cancel your own blessings by complaining.

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@AngelaMichele316

It’s My Facebookaversary

On June 19, 2010 my life forever changed. I know that sounds dramatic…but…that’s the day I finally joined Facebook! I’ll admit, I was NOT on the FB bandwagon when it was first introduced to people of a particular age (as in my friends). I’d seen and heard about the infamous “inboxing”. I’d seen it capture and corrupt the attention of someone I knew well, and not in a positive way. I’d heard about the “mess” that ensued as people expressed their thoughts, two cents, opinions and unsolicited advice. I just didn’t want any part of it.

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However, since posting my first inspirational quote and the first pictures of a photo shoot of my sister as she was about to POP just before giving birth to my new niece, to sliding in a few “my husband left me a few months ago and I’m going to smile and show off my long hair as best I can” photos, Facebook has become my way to connect/reconnect with SO many. What a wonderful seven years it has been catching up with, and getting to know you all on Facebook, then slowly inching my way to the likes of Instagram, Twitter, WordPress, Pinterest and Linkedin.

(See my first two profile pics…Whew! That girl was doing everything in her God-given power just to smile. I’m proud of her!)

Social media is a powerful tool, people. I’ve seen it be a blessing to me and so many. I’ve sadly seen from a firsthand perspective how it has been used to divide and misguide stirring up the most seemingly uncontrolled spirits of division, comparison, jealousy, low self-esteem and plain ol’ meanness that I’ve seen in all my life.

For me, I’d like to think Facebook and its friends to be the place where I can laugh, cry, learn and “like” all in one post. It’s where my words and videos live whether they come at 3am in the morning or in the middle of a meeting where I should be paying attention and can’t, and where my blogging bug took over. It’s where the most beautiful babies, weddings, proms or parties light up a feed. I’ll admit, it’s also where my investigative eyes roamed, or my “I’ll show you what you’re missing” pictures/posts prevailed. It’s where I learn of my favorite concerts coming, shows to watch, and new words to say (or not say…like On Fleek…LOL!) It’s where my eyes are opened to the social, civic and political climates of this wild and wacky world in which we live. It’s where my mind is challenged by people who I didn’t even know could think so very deeply. It’s where I rep my school…Roll Tide!

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It’s where I’ve been consoled and console as life’s tragedies, divorces, death, physical challenges and trials are not just shared, but covered in serious prayer. It’s where my memories in pictures live, not just for today, but for the tomorrows when those pictures may be all someone has. It’s where my spirit is fed as I have soooooooooo many Jesus loving and inspirational, regardless of their faith, friends. It’s where my relationships are restored (Hey, today is the day I reconnected via a FB request with an old boyfriend from the 90s turned good friend named Aquil…and look at us now! Happy “we met again on Facebook” Anniversary, husband!). It’s where a middle of the day meme can send me into the most uncontrollable laugh just when I need it most. It’s where my fashionistas serve up couture and discount offerings like a Waffle House waitress working for her biggest tip. It’s where at-home-cooks and diners-out post food pics or restaurant recommendations that make me salivate like a toddler in a dentist’s chair. It’s where people share their lives as much as, as best as and as often as they can for those in which they care to connect.

Despite any of the negative which transpires on my timeline from time-to-time I’m grateful for the family and friends who bless me each time I scroll my timeline. You are my inspirations! Keep up the great posts!

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@AngelaMichele316

One Day You May Have to Come Back

Hey Friends,The things I did in my 20s…Whew, that’s all I’ll say. 😂

I’m so glad to be able to return to some places better than before. (And that they let me come back, despite my juvenile ways concerning my faux boo, how I handled business, what I wore to work and more.)

#growthisgood #dontmixbaeandbusiness #actlikeyoumaycomeback


With love,

Your Girl Angela ❤️

@angelamichele316

Love Your Body…Big or Small

Hey Friends,
Body image can be a monster! Whether we think we’re too big or too small, especially when we’ve been “fine or foxy” before, our view of ourselves can really mess us up.

I dare you to love you right where you are even if you don’t want to stay there, and not hide who you are. Medicines may affect us. Babies will change us. Illness can alter us physically, but none should change our minds about how beautiful we are.


With love,

Your Girl Angela❤️

@angelamichele316

Your Mind’s Playing Tricks on You

The mind can be a mess. It can also be a blessing. Either way it’s the collector and receptacle of all things Y-O-U, whether good or not. With that said, it’s also a liar…a lot. There’s nothing like a tainted mind from a scarred heart, twisted interpretation, unhealthy self-esteem or unfortunate experience that jacks you up in the worse way ever with thoughts which simply shouldn’t be…if you don’t do something to heal it.

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I was perusing social media and saw some posts from someone who seemingly has a very negative perception about people.  This person’s posts were mostly subtle or direct posts about how people (mis)treat this person, rising above people, payback for people, etc. Sadly, this persons life is likely like that as well. It was painful to read because I can’t imagine living in such a cynical, negative and guarded state. I also can’t imagine how living life through that muddy mind filter might have prevented this person from having healthy, abundant and real relationships with various people this person probably has isolated, thought was against him/her, talked about badly or simply didn’t trust. And I’m Certain (with a capital C) that at the end of the day all this person really wanted was healthy, abundant and real relationships with various people.

I know this person is not alone in the “Your Mind’s Playing Tricks on You” saga.

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Here are the facts in case your mind forgot…

  • It’s not as bad as you think.
  • People aren’t always as bad as you think.
  • Not as many people hate you as you think.
  • Not as many people hate on you as you think.
  • Not as many people even think about you as much as you think they think about you.
  • Not everyone is against you.
  • Sometimes it’s not them you don’t trust it’s you. (Just being honest)
  • Unresolved pain can cloud clear thinking…for as long as you allow it.
  • Your own thoughts and actions can do far more harm than anyone else’s can.
  • There are people who love you.
  • There are people who understand you.
  • There are people who can be trusted.
  • The game of isolating people before you think they’re going to isolate you still leaves you isolated.

And lastly….

  • Sometimes how you feel others feel about you is really how you feel about yourself.

 

@AngelaMichele316

FIVE Days to #WEEatTogether17

WE Eat Together Fundraiser  is returning with an evening of delectable foods from WE Community Cafe, live music, a silent auction, and big city fun with friends overlooking the breathtaking landscape of downtown Birmingham. The event is set for Thursday, May 25th from 5:30pm-7:30pm on the stunning Kress Rooftop atop the Kress Building located at 301 19th Street North, Birmingham, AL. WE Eat Together Fundraiser benefits the healthy living programs of Urban Ministry, including WE Community Gardens, an urban oasis where young men are trained and employed in areas of gardening, composting, and bee keeping to then sell fresh, affordable produce or give to those in need and WE Community Cafe, a pay-as-you-can social enterprise cafe in the heart of West End which feeds people from all walks of life, and employs inner city interns to increase economic opportunity and professional development.

I’ll be there and hope you can make it or make a donation at: https://weeat.swellgives.com/user/angela.abdurrasheed for #WEEatTogether17

These wings will be waiting….

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@angelamichele316

The ABC’s of Singlehood pt. 2

Being single can be HARD! It can also be very helpful in shaping women and men to become better for the next level of life whether marriage is included or not.

As mentioned in my previous blog post The ABC’s of Singlehood pt. 1 , in March 2017 I had an opportunity to speak to single women and married couples at the Can You Relate Conference 2017 hosted by Algernon and Taneisha Tucker. It was great for me too as my newlywed husband and I learned so much from the others. I spoke on the ABCs of Singlehood and thought I’d share a few more tidbits of what God and a lot of mistakes in life afforded me to know.

recite-wid4gj

Here’s 9-17. Stay tuned for pt. 3 coming soon!

  • I-Improve those qualities you know you need improved whether single or not.
    • If you know your attitude is bad (and you know you know) or you are selfish, or you’re lazy, or you have problems committing singlehood is the season to get those things together…by yourself.
  • J-Join groups to help you grow and stay occupied…a church small group, a book club, a Sassy Singles dinner club, etc.
    • Do something with yourself while single. You can boost your resume, build up your “team” and who knows, bae or boo might be waiting on you in the very group you join.
  • K-Keep the desires of your heart. If marriage is your desire, don’t let anything or anyone take it from you.
    • Do. Not. Stop. Believing. Marriage. Is. Possible. For. You. Point. Blank. Period.
  • L-Learn new hobbies and skills like cooking, how to change a tire, how to refurbish a chair, how to install hardwood, how to cut coupons, how to fly fish or something.
  • M-Make sure your expectations of a mate are being matched by you. Don’t want what you can’t give.
    • If you can’t afford steak don’t be mad because he can only afford hamburger helper. If you don’t have good credit don’t place unfair pressure on a man to have it because you don’t. If you aren’t bringing just as much to the table don’t be mad when you aren’t able to eat. Expectations of a mate should be matched by what we have to offer. A man is not your ATM, TransUnion savior, heart fixer, daddy do over or ticket to come up. Come up on your own time and own dime so you can help him come up even more.
  • N-Never let social media deceive you, make you feel less than, lead you to comparisons or have you become hopeless.
    • Don’t let Facebook, Snapchat and any other mode of media make you think married people are perfect, or that you, somehow because you’re not married are less than or will never have the love you desire…and all the extra good, and not as good stuff which comes along with it.
  • O-Open up your list of “I Want” in a mate to include, at the top, God’s list of “You Need” in a mate.
    • Be rid of those superficial things like how he dresses, what his salary looks like (now), where he’s from, how long he’s had the removable goldfront and all that good, not so good stuff which WILL NOT matter at the end of the day when you look back and laugh at how far God has brought you both because He brought you together.
  • P-Pray for yourself, for the mate you desire, for you all together, for patience, etc.
    • Pray. Pray. Pray…for him, for you, for his friends, for his mind, for his future job, for your patience, for his tolerance of you and all your “quirks”, for your future children, for everything that comes along with marriage. You can do this even before you meet the man.
  • Q-Quit settling.
    • I like to say Settling is for Quakers. Whatever you do while single don’t settle for less than who and what you know you deserve. Know your value and stop slinging discounts like a KMart Blue Light Special.
      • And if you don’t know what you deserve ask somebody who knows better.

To be continued…

@AngelaMichele316