I Don’t Like Your Wig

Growing up I subscribed to the list of so many myths of what a good husband was about. Bless my heart.
Yes, ladies, he could be handsome. He could be 6ft 4in with wavy, salt & pepper hair (hey boo!). He could have a fly car, a great job, some flat abs, superhuman “powers”, a generous wallet, a funny sense of humor, be super smart, or be your college school sweetheart with the best shimmy or shake you’ve ever seen. He could spoil you to pieces, give the best birthday presents and back rubs, wash a car better than a machine, know how to grill a steak like nobody’s business and smell like he’s oozing Bvlgari cologne on a perfectly timed schedule.
However, recently, my husband whispered words that elevated my love for him to the next level as he gingerly gazed into my half-mascaraed eyes and said, “Uuuummm, yea, so, I don’t know how I feel about your new wig on you. I’ll get you another one that does what you’re trying to make that one to do.”
Of all the thoughts and hopes and wishes I had growing up regarding marriage, there are a few staples which must be and remain. To the list of my mature “must haves” in a husband, some of which are listed above and certainly fulfilled, having a husband who can have my back is a blessing! Even if it’s in sharing something I may not want to hear, I would prefer him telling me the truth from a point of sincere love rather than have my out in the mean streets of Birmingham looking like a silly OLD lady, with scattered blonde highlights.  Yes, ma’am. Yes, sir. That kind of tell-it-to-me-like-it-is-with-love kind of love is definitely not a myth and permanently on my list.
Stay tuned for the new ‘do!

Shush Up and Trust God

Have you ever wanted to get something off of your chest so badly that the thought of launching a verbal private and/or public dissertation in defense of whatever you deemed to be wrong seemed like the right thing to do? I have. I was talking to a loved one about my pet peeves recently. Three of the top ones include feeling like my voice is not being heard, being misunderstood and misrepresented with no opportunity to shed light, and seeing others assume the worst first in others and/or me. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. When those things transpire my gut reaction is to put a rebuttal or proactive pose in action. Sometimes that way of response has proven well, and made things better. Other times, not so much.

Anywho, that’s where I am today regarding some matters that matter. Yesterday I was ready to take a cue from the Yellow Pages of old and “let my fingers do the talking” by giving someone an earful via the internet (as in email). After all. I’m a writer, not a fighter. I’m not the one to do anything damaging or defensive physically, but I have been known to use my voice and my pen (or laptop) to state my case. My words speak for themselves. And again, sometimes that way of response has proven well, and made things better. Other times, and often times, not so much.


Feeling anger from an interaction with someone I know, I was mid-way into the third tennis-matchesq exchange via email about some pertinent business when the loved one I mentioned a few paragraphs ago called to check on me causing me to lose the text I’d typed. Drats!!!!!! Dagnabit!!! Fiddle Darn Sticks!!!! I informed that person of what I lost while answering the phone and what I was planning to say and the response was “Let it go, Angela. Let it go.”. I heard that message loudly and clearly. What this person wanted to tell me is “shut up and trust God.” While they didn’t say that I did gather quickly that sometimes things should simply not be said. The going back and forward often incites more than it improves. The public defense can often smear a person’s name (as in the one speaking) more than it can clear it. Reminding a person of his/her responsibilities, commitments or requirements often stir up more anger than action. And the mental and emotional anguish often accompanying the “I got him or her told” syndrome simply isn’t worth it especially when the only way a person can and will really change is from God’s work within, and without our feisty or fiery words. I got it.


My youngest nieces have a huge problem with people who say “shut up”. Their quick, and sincere response is often, “Hey, don’t say that. That’s inappropriate.” So today I won’t, and usually I don’t. I’ll simply opt to say to myself “shush up and trust God.” #silence