Forgiveness 101: We Have Beef and I Have Sodas

I had the weirdest dream, you guys. I was at work working, and oddly enough, a not yet favorite person of mine for lack of a better phrase was in my office which is also odd because this person does not work with or near me, and is on a short list of last people on earth likely to visit me. Just as clearly as the words I’m typing, this said person was sitting just to the right of my leather office chair as my caramel-colored desk was covered with bags of food and several cups of soda random people were bringing in during the sequence of the dream.


This “push me closer to Jesus” person was thirsty for something to drink and did not hesitate to let me know so. There was a sense of beggi-ness, or possibly humility that I’d not ever seen. Even through my dream, I could feel the story of Joseph and his brothers unfolding (Google it, or even better, read this awesome treasure of truth called the Bible), but then something happened that scared the hebedegeezes out of me. When “prayer pusher”, as I will from hence forth refer to this lovely human being, asked me for something to drink I didn’t do what I thought I would do. I didn’t offer one tiny sip of soda, or drinks for the road from my overflow. Instead, I started gulping those drinks down like a fish out of water who’d finally been cast back into the sea. I was so very disappointed in myself that I literally made myself wake up. Hopefully I was playing a mean, mean prank and was only going to drink a few sodas for GP (general principle) then gladly share what was left with “prayer pusher”, but it surely didn’t start out that way and I wasn’t going to sleep on to find out that it didn’t end up that way.

When I shared my dream with a certain loved one she said, “Girl, you should have swallowed ‘them’ sodas up like nobody’s business.” I was tickled because I know part of her was playing and the other part was slightly serious. However, I wanted to be like Joseph and be able to extend help to one who hurt me when most needed. More importantly I wanted to be like Jesus.

Now that I’ve somewhat digested the dream I see that there is still forgiveness left to offer from me. One thing I know about forgiving is that it’s like a delicate onion and often comes in layers, especially when the person is a repeat offender as people often are (because that’s just what we, as flawed people, do). Sure, there’s so much I’ve long ago let go of because those battles are over. That’s easy. But I will admit, I need to forgive “prayer pusher” and anyone else for things even as they ensue. That means as they happen I need to readily forgive. Why? Because God says so. (Don’t believe me…check out that Bible again.)


Now, I’m not saying “prayer pusher” will ever be in a place of needing something desperately of me, and I certainly do not wish or want that, but I need to be ready to release whatever is needed should that need arises. In the meantime, I accept that I still have work to do internally because I don’t want anything or anyone holding me back from being who and how I’m supposed to be, even in my dreams. After all, in the words of Ms. Lauryn Hill, “How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?” And I will win… “prayer pusher” pushing me and all.

So yes, “prayer pusher”, we have beef and I have sodas…to share.



I Had a Dream

I had a dream, and no, it was not because of the grilled fish and turnips I ate for dinner…

I had a dream that I was living in a Hampton’s style neighborhood connected to a LARGE resort hotel called the Wynfrey, but nothing like the one we have here.
Rikki Ross​, Edith Arms​, Kristalyn Lee​, Nishia Elizabeth Ross​ and Charmel Taylor​ were all there. Charmel, Edith and Kristalyn asked me to borrow $10 cash for something we needed as we were checking in (which means I had cash MONEY and they all knew it…Yippee!!!).
Edith left me in the lobby after she got her $10 and hollered as she sashayed off that she was going to her “Penthouse”. (And she did!)
Rikki, had her own Hampton’s style townhouse and had cooked a dinner so delish that my Mama drove from her own Hampton’s style house to Rikki’s gorgeous pad to pick up her previous night’s leftovers to snack on (Shocking, I know!)
Charmel checked in in a CUTE ski-like ensemble then disappeared in a black, stretch Escalade with her boo. (We waved, cabbage patched and blew kisses as they pretended not to see us behind those dark, dark windows. We saw them!)
Nishia was planning to host her parents at her house where we pulled up to find the ENTIRE extended family there sitting out on her porch grilling like we were in West End instead of this fru-fru place my mind concocted (That means her house was huge! And it was!).
Kristalyn must have been married or dating someone because she left me on the way to my house literally skipping to his (or their) house and even turned down shrimp scampi because she was in a rush (Shocking, I know!).
And I…well, I too must have been married. I lived in a BIG house with a salon and personal hair stylist connected to my home (in sort of an in-law suite fashion) because my face-unseen, deep voiced gentleman told me to run over and get a new hair cut if I wanted to so I did. And as I did I watched women and children come in and out of the salon connected to my Hampton’s house with Louis Vuitton luggage.

Whew! I need to go back to sleep and get some more of that dreamy goodness. Some things I know for sure…
-I love my family and friends and want them to thrive, grow, get, give, prosper and kick it like nobody’s business!
-God is speaking and I just need to listen.
-Maybe not exactly as dreamed but something big is going to happen to, and through those I love and me (vacations, material coverings, life-long coverings (there is a difference you know), family fun, and blessings to share with others).
-God has a sense of humor and a loving way of sending sweet reminders.
-And that grilled fish was tasty!



I’m Onboard with My Vision Board

I’ll admit. I like to party. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about the kind of partying that was partly responsible for my 1.8 GPA my first semester in college, but the kind that brings great people, even better food, and some super cool celebrations together no matter how grand or how much grander. So when the thought of a Vision Board Party came to mind I was excited. I admitted to my guests that I’d actually placed more thought in the menu than actually what my vision board would represent, but once I set my mind to it, in the midst of scissors, glue, glitter, stickers, card board, poster board and magazine madness it was like I’d been transported to another world…the future, my future that is. To say the Vision Board Party was fun would be an understatement! There was just something special about being bold enough to put my “bees-wax” on display for others to see. I was shocked I was brave enough to include this:


As much of a romantic, “I believe in love, I know I’m meant to be some Heaven-sent husband’s wonderful wife” I’m focused on a few more important things right now and I don’t want to find a man. He has to find me. So I resisted posting this (even though I was truly tempted…LOL!):


I muddled through the mess that evolved from my dining room floor slightly surprised that there was no mention of material things on my board. Yes, there is an entire section devoted to vacation and travel (a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do), and the word “home” is spotlighted as I’m in need of getting rid of one and securing another quickly and miraculously, but not a mention of cars, purses, shoes, shopping, jewelry or any of the other things the old me would have been pasting like a 4th grader with unlimited glue and glitter gone wild. Instead I was surprisingly focused on things more spiritual, social and physical (like faith, Jesus, healthier food, inspiring quotes and the aforementioned “thighs and butt”), dreams I’ve had and sat on (sometimes nearly suffocating them) like being an author and inspiration, and achieving wealth to receive and share.


Let me tell you how much I was into this party. I was so engrossed with my vision board coming to life that I sat down on the floor. Yikes! Those of you who know me know I’m a girly girl in every sense of the word, opting against things remotely related to being on the floor, being surrounded by clutter, and traipsing back and forth through glitter on the ground and ultimately in my hair. With the blaring background sounds of the Prince station on Pandora not only did I do it, but I didn’t regret it a bit. Since we’re on the subject of your purple highness, if you haven’t listened to the Prince station on Pandora you need to do yourself a favor and listen.  I digress.


I was pleased with my finished product and the finished product of the finished product that I tweaked after all of the guests and chicken wings were gone. Her next step? To hang in my office, in all her neon green glory, as a daily reminder of what my dreams look like so that when I finally see them I’ll know it’s partly because I dared to do so.

PS…If you’ve never had or attended a Vision Board Party I would definitely recommend you do so. I can host it, or be your guest. Because after all, I do like to party, especially when it’s with a purpose.




Will Someone Please Burn My Chicken?


I don’t know how else to say it so I’ll just say it. I can be a chicken from time-to-time. I don’t like it. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am and I don’t want to be.

There’s so much I would do if I didn’t have chickenitis.


  • I’d try my hand at broadcasting again, a television or radio talk show for sure.
  • I’d open up a pie business selling sweet and savory hand-held pies.
  • I’d host fabulous events for women that helped them spirit, soul, and body and provided free stuff Oprah-style.
  • I’d publish the children’s book I wrote several years ago.
  • I’d run for political office.
  • I’d charge a fee to teach artists, athletes and preachers how to speak correctly and in a more relatable/marketable way, especially when speaking to the media.  
  • I’d travel across country starting in Mobile and ending in LA.
  • I’d learn to dance (line dance, stepping, ballroom, tap, you name it. I’d be a dancing machine!).
  • I’d be a wedding DJ.
  • I’d ride the roller coaster at Six Flags that scared the living day lights out of me when I was six years old.
  • I would learn to swim.
  • I’d get another degree in Counseling or Human Resources.
  • I’d write a book about my life, especially the last fifteen years.
  • I would live on a yacht for a month.
  • And the list goes on.


Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against chickens, just being chicken. I realized through research that chickens can only fly so high. I don’t want my chickenitis to be the cause of me never really making it off of the ground. If I have wings I won’t them to work! So there you have it. I don’t want my chicken. It serves me no purpose, and actually robs me of my purpose. So I figuratively ask, will someone please burn my chicken?



I’m Re-Building My Blessings List

I love the thought of a bucket list. I think there’s nothing more rewarding than comprising lists of things that I want to do, see, experience and gain on God’s great earth before I leave it. However, I don’t plan on leaving here anytime soon, so I think I’ll change the name from a “bucket list” to my “blessings list”.


I certainly have come to realize that life is too short to squander and too long not to be lived. That makes building my “blessings list” even more important. Different than how it possibly would have been in my 30’s and definitely different from it would have been in my 20’s, I’m starting to pay closer attention to who and what should go on my “blessings list”. My list has grown from, and grown into more than things about big houses, fancy cars, some money and a man. My list has morphed into something so much more meaningful knowing that I’m backed with a little wisdom that only age can give, a little knowledge that only Godly growth can give, a lot of experience watered by tears and hard work, and a bit of common sense from the School of Life and compliments of my Daddy and Mama.

I don’t just want to get and go, I want to give! Now don’t get me wrong, I do have some “must do” things on there like several exciting trips, freedom from debt, meeting a few famous people (and becoming one), having a talk show and best-selling books, having a wonderfully fulfilling new career with professional, personal and financial benefits out the wazoo, a dream wedding and an even more dreamy (and lasting) marriage, a new neighborhood filled with people who become life-long friends, and the likes.


As good as what I want for myself is, what I want for others matters and must come to. I want to start a movement/cause/organization to help divorced men/women and their children. I want to do more work in the urban schools. I want to consistently be positioned to help young girls and grown women with self-esteem. I want to give money to buy water pumps in Africa. I want to walk around with loads of gift cards ready to give out to people in need. I want to become like the people who go into Wal-Mart and secretly pay off a Christmas lay-away debt every year. I want to do something MEGA for my parents and the family and friends who have been there for me. I want. I want. I want.


The older I get the more mature my “blessings list” gets. I like how it’s shaping up and can’t wait to actually see it for myself! So I’m moving ahead with putting my dreams on paper praying that they go from my heart and flow out of God’s hands. What about you? What’s on your list?