Singles, You Can Do It…Yourself

Singles (and by singles I mean not married, even if you have a boo or a bae, with the same last name you’ve always had, with the same last name you used to have and now have again, filing single on taxes and checking the box which says Miss, Ms. or Divorced )…

Here’s a little secret. You can do it…yourself. While scrolling through my new best friend Pinterest I came across a clever post. Of course I can’t find it now, but it read, “Stop expecting others to do for you what you won’t even do for yourself.”


It’s as simple as that. The time for waiting on life to start is over. Newsflash, life is well on its way to being exactly who its meant to be for you! The mindset of, “I’ll do this when I have someone to do it with” is debilitating. The notion that life alone or in the company of friends, pales in comparison to the married life is a myth. I can tell you a thing or two about both. The thought of “I have no one so I can’t do whatever it is I really want to do” is cuckoo. Pardon my harsh language.

In the words of my daddy when I would pout as a teenager about wanting to do what everyone else was doing, “You were born by yourself. You’re going to die by yourself so stop always talking about what other people are doing.” The same is so in the land of singlehood. We can’t wait on others, compare ourselves with others or complain about others. We simply have to do it. So go ahead and do those things you want to, can afford to, have time, and deserve to do.

  • Go to a movie alone or with friends
  • Eat at that five-star restaurant
  • Plan an amazing trip out of town
  • Plan an even more amazing trip out of the country
  • Invest in that rental property
  • Make financial investments
  • Get a massage
  • Join a gym and go at it solo if need be
  • Start a business
  • Write a will (I know that’s grim, but hey, singles have stuff to leave behind too.)
  • Buy a house
  • Paint your house
  • Learn how to garden or repair a car or cook
  • Remodel your bathroom…unless you have zero remodeling skills as I do
  • Or do like I did and buy those close up concert tickets to see Diddy and the crew… #cantstop #wontstop #badboyforlife
  • bad_boy_logo


Whatever you do, singles, just make sure to take time to do it for yourself. You deserve it! Of this, I’m sure.



More Than a Movie

Today wraps the final installment of the “At the Movies” series at Church of the Highlands.

I’m so grateful for this opportunity to grow closer to God and my loved ones as we shared an hour and 15 minutes over the last four Sundays experiencing every emotion known to man, meeting all kinds of wonderful movie characters, eating pound cake in church, some enjoying Coke and popcorn and all leaving with one of the most important ones…hope through the love of Jesus.

While the At the Movies series has ended, and most of my readers were not able to experience what I’ve been blessed to know, feel, see and witness over the last month, I pray something as simply special as a movie speaks to you at your point of need. It can happen. Trust me. I know.


All in the Family

As if the blog post fairies knew I’d be savoring the memories of yesterday, nestled under covers recuperating from Thanksgiving, 2015 Edition, my self-appointed focus of today’s #bloglikecrazy theme is Family. Yay! Easy-breezy!

Given that I’m still in the midst of enjoying my wild, sophisticated, funny, praying, cultured, realer-than-real, hardworking, know how to celebrate, loving, peculiar and definitely not perfect, God-fearing, good cooking, heavy eating, “we get through things together” family I’ll share some recent pics with you.

Wherever you are, and with whomever God has selected to walk this thing called life with you through blood, by law or because of good, old fashioned friendship value them today and always. They are yours for a divine reason. You may not always get along (we sure don’t), but you should always come together.






Don’t Look Like ‘No’ Sexy Secretary

This morning I woke up tired. I’m talking tired as in spent. I’m talking as spent as a refund check in the hands of an eager college co-ed at the Capstone. I am beat! The (leftover) red stained lips, less than cascading curls and puffy bags under my eyes compliments of resting at 12:17am and rising at 4:40am are proof of my struggle. The struggle is real.

Last night, I threw normal caution to the brisk and whisking wind and went out on a work night. I can hear you laughing as even I see how I can sound like an old lady as I write this, but humor me. With the exception of a few, not-to-be-named, issues the Lord is working out of me, I’m usually pretty calculated in my day-to-day goings on, especially at night. I appreciate a good routine like a baby appreciates a good nap. If something isn’t broken I definitely don’t try to fix it, often to a default as it leaves me stuck in what was good enough then, but could be made better now. So breaking my habit of being tucked in and squared away early on the night before the start of what is to be a busy workweek was a hard habit to break.


Anywho,  about last night. I was fortunate enough to go see the Forever Charlie Tour featuring Charlie Wilson, Kem and Joe. It was amazing!!!! If you’ve been wondering where real music has been, let me just say it’s been held hostage by these three sanging (with an “a”, not an “i”), performing, crowd-captivating, get your monies worth entertainers. Baby, they left it all on the stage at the BJCC! And their debonair outfits and seasoned swag were about as smooth as their vocals. For four FULL hours they gave us their all…their absolute all! I’m still swaying at random times when I reminisce about the romantic interludes, party anthems and good, ol’, “grown folks” music they were serving up to nearly packed house. With that said, and back to the message at hand, it is very rare that I would ever think of going somewhere on a night before a day when I have to stick to my routine of rising before dawn and heading out of the house before the same. But I did. I’m so glad I did.


Like a self-professed creature of habit, I was hesitant about going to the concert because of the lateness in which I knew I would return (and I live far from Birmingham’s City Center). I was also hesitant about the cost of the tickets my generous concert companion paid. I was definitely hesitant about my outfit, as it too, was a bit of a sassy break from my old outfit’s norm. To help with my outfit trepidation I plucked a cute, black, peplum jacket from my closet to serve as my safety net, while realizing that hesitation can sometimes hold me up, and life is too short and too long to be held up when I don’t have to be. So I  went to the concert, jumpsuited, peeped-toes, late-night and all. I had a BLAST with a capital B! Snapping a picture before heading to the house, that picture somehow ended up making its way to my sister’s phone. Like a little sister who often thinks she’s the wiser sister she called to offer these words of wisdom that sealed the deal for me, “You look nice. Now go and enjoy yourself. Have a lot of fun and take that jacket off as soon as you get in that building so aren’t walking around looking like ‘no’ sexy secretary!” So I did and I did.



Gimme a Break!

The wonderfully talented and sassy Nell Carter belted out the following lyrics on her hit television show in the 80s: Gimme a Break Theme Song

Gimme a break I sure deserve it It’s time I made it to the top Gimme a break I’m looking forward Get behind me Pull out every stop

Matthew 7:7 says “Ask and it shall be received”. James 4:2 says “You have not because you ask not”. So taking a cue from God and Ms. Carter (RIP) I’m asking for this simple request….”Gimme a Break”.

Nell Carter in Gimme a Break.

You know it’s time for a vacation, a respite or reprieve when your two-year-old niece interrupts her own car seat serenade with Justin Timberlake to yell out emphatically and with authority, “Sweet Tee (that’s what she calls me), WE need a vacation!” I humbly agreed as if she were the adult and I were the toddler. Not that anything has to go on or wrong in life to need a break or a breather, but simply by default of living we all need a healthy escape. Being human requires rest, fun, adventure, and new memories. I’m talking about the kind of break that doesn’t have to cost a lot (unless you can afford it) but that’s so good, and so relaxing, and so invigorating, and so exciting and fantastically whatever you need it to be that you talk about it and thrive from it for years after it’s over. People often comment on how “nice” I am. And for the most part I am (or try my best to be), but that’s due in LARGE part to me being able to get myself in check and keep myself in check through regularly scheduled rest and relaxation, otherwise I’d be…well, I won’t even give my doubters or the devil any room there. So, I’m waiting on, praying for, looking forward to, and receiving any ways God desires for me to catch a break (meaning I’m very selective about who I share my spare time with, what I do and where:). But if the Lord prefers I enjoy a gift of a Groupon vacation. I’ll take it! A free trip from some contest I’ve entered? I’ll be present and accounted for! A trip to the spa or several spas? I’ll go! Some serious outlet shopping? Yes, ma’am or sir, I’m available! A girlfriend getaway? Pass my new luggage please! A four or five-day escape with money to spare? Count me in! A rainy Saturday with all day Food Network “Chopped”, “Restaurant Impossible”, ” The Pioneer Woman” and “Barefoot Contessa”? Remote, pizza and popcorn please! A daycation or quick retreat? Yep, I’m down. I’ve learned that knowing what it takes to keep you going is just as important as the act of keeping going. For me, that’s a break (or two or three or more) each year. I need breaks. I depend on breaks. I like breaks. I expect breaks and I don’t feel bad at all by admitting any of the above. So for now, I’ll enjoy some photos of breaks-of-old, hum along to Nell’s sweet song and make myself ready for the adventures ahead. And when it happens new posts and pics will follow!!!!


You Better Catch Your Breath Before You Lose It


I typed this blog post on the heels of a much-needed, weekend getaway in March of 2013. In the throes of some personal and professional life changes, I found myself nestled in the middle of the celebration of my 41st birthday, while also being surrounded by a bit of “March madness” from many different sides. Having not had a great escape since October of 2012 I was blessed to be able to cruise down I-20 for a brief reprieve.

While the trip wasn’t to a far away destination and while it was definitely the definition of frugal it was FUN and that’s what I needed. Posing for pictures in the ATL sun, soaking up the rays and the scenery, sipping delicious Coca-Colas (which I’m sure taste better in Atlanta than anywhere else I’ve been) being thankful for an opportunity to simply see a sea of different license plates, experiencing new cuisine and doing a little shopping on a budget made me think about the plight of the person that doesn’t take time to breathe. “Waiting to Exhale” was only a movie!

So I offer this humble recommendation, “You better catch your breath before you lose it”. People often say, “life is short.” I’d like to suggest that life is as long as you live it. Please know, that by nature of being life, life is going to bring some things that will try to take you out or keep you under. It’s up to no one but you to do what you have to do to carry on, especially in the midst of chaos. The days of the woman or man not taking time to focus on personal help and personal rest/relaxation are over.

  • I’d rather spend $60 to relax with a hotel Groupon than $300 to recuperate with a hospital co-pay.
  • I’d rather save to go to a spa than pay to see a doctor for stress.
  • I’d rather share a fancy or frugal meal with a friend than sit in silence dining alone.
  • I’d rather sacrifice to have a hair or nail appointment from time-to-time than splurge for prescription drugs to help them grow through whatever I’m going through.
  • I’d simply rather live life than merely exist.

The bottom line is, the life you have is yours to live. Live it! Do whatever you have to do (in a healthy, productive, refreshing, and relaxing way) to live. Plan if you have to. Save if you have to. Prepare if you have to. Share if you have to. Be creative. Be crafty and be sure you catch your breath before you lose it. Now breathe:)