So much is going on in the world, big and small. Friends, loved ones and colleagues are reeling from politics, surprise separations, health challenges, financial struggles, job transitions and so much more. I don’t recall my prayer list being this long in a long time. Like for real. In the midst of it all, I thank God for His word which promises peace. I will let my Lord and Savior speak to and comfort us instead. I’m so grateful for God’s word, now more than ever.
Recently, I’ve been battling my Lymphedema again. I was diagnosed, after a minor surgery to rule out the C word, and figure out why I had pain and enlarged nodules under my right arm. It’s not unusual to have bouts with my chronic illness from time-to-time, especially when I fly, when the seasons drastically change or if I do heavy lifting, which I’m not supposed to do. Given that I’ve done all of those things having flown this year to Baltimore and Anaheim with few troubles, experiencing the seasons changing from cold to hot with no troubles and having moved an entire house into another house with little trouble I thought I’d finally made it to full-on Lymphedema management stage, until a couple of weeks ago when the pain and swelling of my right arm came back with a vengeance. I mean that thing came out swangin’ knowing I couldn’t swing back.
I’ll be honest. I was mad. Like for real. I was mad. I was mad because I thought I could at least cross Lymphedema off of my “to-do” list, and place it on my “can’t be bothered” roster. I was aware of the maintenance aspect, and up for that challenge, but over the last couple of years, God has quickly taken care of me when the pain arrived and I could move on business as usual. This time, was different. Desperate for relief I did what I would normally do when a bout flared up. I revved up the prayers and prayer partners. I scheduled a massage and another one when that one didn’t fully do what I needed. I took time off to rest it. I resumed wearing my glove. I conducted my manual massages and all of that good stuff and no relief. I even called my Lymphedema specialist, the only one in this entire region, who just so happened to have moved to Murfreesboro, TN shortly after I no longer needed her. I didn’t hear back from her, as I’m sure her wait time now is longer than the six months it was when I was referred to her years ago. So my question to this temporary lymph node nemesis was, “who in the world let you come back?”
Then, as Facebook and it’s On This Day app would remind me, today, May 25th, marks the exact 5th anniversary of my Lymphadema diagnosis. Talk about a God having a sense of humor. Not only did it remind me of the date it reminded me of what I said on that date. Here’s what I mustered up enough arm strength to type from my trusty Blackberry.
And the plot thickens…so there’ve been some serious complications from my surgery in March. I won’t complain, but instead will compare this to the other times I’ve seen God move in my life. Each time my body has been attacked my blessings have been attached. So as the plot thickens so does my praise!!!! (If I don’t respond to your calls, texts or fb posts right away forgive me. I’ll be back soon:)
And so it is. If it’s time for another round I guess I better hop back on the saddle and ride this thing on out. I felt bad for even being mad. Shame on me. I have no right to complain. I simply don’t.To quote that wise old 39 year old Angela Michele of old…”Each time my body has been attached my blessings have been attached. So as the plot thickens so does my praise!!!!” I’m shifting my focus to praising and planning the celebration while nervous at the same time because I have absolutely no idea what my God could be up to now because He’s already been SO, SO good. Anywho, I’ll keep you posted. You keep praying.
***And while you’re praying for me, please pray for others who battle this illness in ways FAR worse than I. (Google Lymphedema please). Insurance doesn’t often cover treatment. Treatment for some is deemed impossible. Breast cancer is sometimes a component to this disease. The physical aspect can often pail in comparison to the mental and emotional issues attached to having a limb much larger than the other. My case is so very, very, very minor compared to so many. I truly have so much for which to be thankful. Please add those who battle the painful illness Lymphedema to your prayers.
@AngelaMMoore316
Divorce has a dastardly way of trying to cause you to keep looking back and around, rather than forward.
torn piece of paper with divorce text and paper couple figures
Some look back wondering why. Others look back questioning what if. Many look back full of regrets. While some get consumed with looking at what’s going on around wondering what the “ex” is doing, how well he or she is doing, waiting on their demise, being concerned with what people are thinking or caught up with what people are saying.
Words from the Wise: Look ahead, honey. Be so unshakably focused on what’s ahead that you can’t be bothered with who or what is behind or around. Set your sights firmly on the newness awaiting and like a good HBCU marching band hurrying into formation just before the “break it all the way down” interlude or a perfectly perfected military regime know that FORWARD is the order of the day. #lookahead #marchon
@AngelaMMoore316
Hurt is like garbage. It stinks! Just like garbage, we all have it! Even more like garbage, if you let it sit around without properly tending to it and taking it out it has the ability to stink up the place and the people that around it
There are many different ways to get rid of garbage. We can use garbage bags, recycling bins, trash compactors, garbage disposals, toilets, dumps, composts or even burn it. The same is so with hurt.
There are many constructive ways to deal with what hurts us. There’s prayer, counseling, therapy, support groups, small groups, scriptures, help from loved ones, support from spiritual leaders, crying, screaming, releasing, reading, exercise, journaling, cooking, singing, testimonies from others, time and maturity, a fresh perspective, gratefulness, even a mediator if more than one person is involved. But like garbage, hurt has to get the heck out of dodge!
There are also many productive things to do as we to through the process to get over being hurt to make sure we are healed and not hindered in the present or future. We can focus on the future, make a list of the good that came out of what we endured, start a project, grow new healthy associations, turn that hurt into a new passion of support for others, start a positive blog, look for ways and reasons to forgive, use that time to redirect, redecorate or even relocate, write a book, spend time with family and friends that offer healthy support, tend to others that might have been affected by what happened, write a song, start a foundation, purposely strive to see the good in others, look for the humor in it, and so on.
The bottom line is, we all hurt or have been hurt. The levels of hurt, seriousness and severity of it might differ from person-to-person and situation-to-situation, but hurt happens. When it does, where does the hurt go? Really, where does it go? Hurt doesn’t disappear with time or vanish like a vapor on a hot summer’s day. It will stick around and stifle things for as long as we let it. Like stinky garbage, we have to do something with what has hurt us. It’s in our best interest long-term and short-term to do something beneficial with it before damage is done. We can profit from what caused us pain. We can do something with it since it’s already done so much to us. The key is to not get stuck, bitter, hopeless, cynical, fearful, untrusting, stagnant and “stanky” infecting or affecting all those who come near. The ticket is not letting past hurt affect future promises. We’re so much bigger than what hurt us. We deserve so much better than what hurt. It’s not what happened that really matters, but how we handle what happened that counts at the end of the day, and knowing that it needs to be and can be handled once, finally and for all.
@AngelaMMoore316
“Come and Get Your Soul Food, Good, Old-Fashioned Soul Food”…
Those simple lyrics to a popular, old school hip-hop song by ATL’s own Goodie Mob have been fluttering through my spirit for a while. There’s something about food…spirital food, natural food and of course, soul food that does a body good.
Being a Christian under constant renovation, spiritual food and I have really gotten to know each other so much better over the last decade or so. I love spiritual food. I believe in Jesus. I read the Bible, pray, go to church and even in my daily failure, try to be aware of, and live in a way pleasing to God.
Being a blossoming “foodie”, I’ve taken a sincere affection to many things edible. Natural food and I are friends. I like cooking food, watching food being cooked and eating food. I spend time learning about food, visiting restaurants, challenging my palate and seeking new recipes.
Being a human, that’s subject to the pains of being human, I’ve come to appreciate the value of soul food now, more than ever. I’m not talking about fried chicken, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, pound cake or potato salad. I’m talking about the kind of food that feeds your soul when it’s starved, deprived or despondent, or feeds it to keep if from any of the aforementioned. Spiritual food and natural food are often easier to receive and much easier to recognize. Our soul is so important. It houses our will, intellect, morals and emotions. Soul food is a must! And strategically enough, what happens with the natural food and spiritual food we intake also affects our soul. But what do we do about finding food for our soul?
@AngelaMMoore316
Life Gets Better 