Fathers Matter

Another Father’s Day weekend is approaching and, as usual, my family and I are scurrying to try to tie up plans to celebrate the special dads in our lives. Not that the scurrying is in a last minute kind of manner, but year-after-year it becomes increasingly more difficult to buy things for the men who have everything or don’t require much, or come up with plans for the people are who simply and truly content with their family being around somewhere within a 500 yard radius as they lounge in a chair with a cold beverage and remote in hand. We ask repeatedly and early what gifts might bring my Daddy joy. The answer is always the same, “Don’t get me anything. I just want my family happy.” He means that as proof of all of the tags in his closet from gifts given long ago. I must also be following the expectation that most women end up with men like their fathers because even my beau gives the standard “drive me crazy” answer of, “You don’t have to get me anything special. I’m happy with whatever.” So this year the Father’s Day theme is an new-fangled fish fry. And by new fangled I mean someone is going to pick it up a whole bunch of all-ready prepared seafood from a restaurant and grocery store and we’re going to celebrate the amazing men in our lives young and older, from near and far with hopes of staying awake long enough to watch the NBA finals, of course, with cold beverages and a remote in one of the fathers hands.

Fathers matter so much. I think they’ve gotten a tremendously bad rap in society because of a few bruised apples. Some may not be present by choice or circumstance. Some might have made mistakes. Some might have had difficulty giving what they’ve never received. Some might have sorely disappointed. Some, may be ideal for the families with which they’ve been blessed, but no father…just like no mother… is perfect. And still, they matter so much. Their voices matter. Their presence matters. Their ability to show us how to overcome and keep going matters. Their hugs and embrace matter. Their prayers and public display of spiritual covering matters. Their life’s stories matter. Their hard work and display of integrity matters. The bass in their voice matters. The sternness in their foreheads matters. Their role of authority matters. Their insight matters. Their experiences matter. Their ability to lead, guide, direct and protect matters. Even their mistakes matter as a clear signal of what not to do or what to do better.

With the Father’s Day “faux” Fish Fry menu in tack I realized this year, probably more than most, I’m just grateful for my Daddy and fathers in general. I truly, truly am. My dad, like most of the men in my life including my brother, my uncles, and my beau have had quite a tough year. My once strong, tall, towering, business-minded, bill-writing, chauffeuring Daddy has been battling unexpected health challenges which literally knocked him off of his feet in February. He still has a road ahead of him for total recovery and healing, but has come so far. Within the blink of an eye, a lot of his primary roles in our lives have shifted or ceased as we all collectively focus on him…for once. Isn’t that the baffling beauty of life?  The man who asks for nothing now requires much. It’s an honor to be able to give it to him…with a cold beverage and remote in his hand.

 

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Yes, that’s a cold drink in his hand:)

 

 

@AngelaMMoore316

A Good Man is Like a Good Weave

In honor of my focus on L-O-V-E for today’s #bloglikecrazy post…

Hair and I have been cool like two cubes in an ice tray since my Mama decided I couldn’t get a Jheri Curl as an 8th grader at Homewood Middle School and finally let me get a permanent after one round of Ramsay High School band camp in the 9th. I’ve always enjoyed the accessory of hair. I like the flexibility of it, the versatility of it and the wow factor often generated from it. I love my own hair and I like the mystery of purchased hair.

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In recent years, I’ve enjoyed the variety of looks, styles and personas compliments of weaves and wigs. There’s just such a beautiful transformation which comes from instantly taking on a new look and taking it off or jazzing it up at liberty. I also relish in the shock of people who don’t recognize me because I’ve changed styles in less than 24 hours. However…the real, deal beauty of a hair accessory is not often in what it presents on top, but what it covers underneath.

Weaves or wigs are a lot like a good relationship. They make us look good on the outside while covering what’s underneath. A good wig or weave will know the shocking, mangled, braided, twisted, thinning, dry, dirty, dandruffy, itchy, oily, thick, stinky or cornrowed tresses we carry and cover it until we reach our stylist or solution of choice. Much the same, a good man for his one and only woman can know the brewing mess that’s simmering within and cover as that woman deals with it like the best $159 bundle of Indy Remi or the finest $59.99 Vivica Fox signature hair piece.

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It’s not that what’s being covered is to be permanently covered up with no thought of tending, but there are things in life which take time, special attention, gentle care and repeat conditioning or intense management from only those sent to handle it. Just like a premium piece of affixed hair, ladies, a good, God-sent man, will allow God, he and his woman to take care of those internal things while externally carrying on business as usual, knowing that the world might not be able to handle what they’re dealing with as they’re dealing with it, but he can and is honored to make it a priority to do so. He’s able to allow his woman to help him, as she should, but also relishes in the fact that he has something to offer her which no other can.  He accepts the challenge to do so, balancing work, children, extra-curricular activities, church or whatever else he’s entrusted with knowing that she is his main order of business. And at the end of the day, he’s spiritually aware, sort of like a wig or weave (but minus the spiritual awareness…LOL!), that how she’s presented is a direct reflection of him.

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I’ve been told by a few that my “please, please, please can’t I have some of these qualities in a husband this time” prayer list is too picky. I politely beg to differ! Yes, I do want at least 83.94% of the things on my list. However, give me a man who can cover, work with, transform and enhance me like I just swiveled around in the chair of Jennifer Rose of JRose Beautique and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call a bundle of blessings. (Get it, bundle, as in hair…LOL!)

@AngelaMMoore316

I Love a Man

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There’s no better time than today, as we take time to honor the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, to give a shout out to men. I love men. I truly do. Not just for what some would assume to be the obvious, but because of their strength, fortitude, tenacity and gumption, sometimes in spite of the best of odds.

I’ve been contemplating what to say about the movie Selma after seeing it. There’s so, so much I could say about the cinematic masterpiece. One thing that stood out to me was the importance of Dr. King and the men who walked along side him. Their presence illuminated from the screen igniting in me a sense of thankfulness that I wasn’t prepared to embrace. I  know that the heels of the footsoldiers came in many shapes and sizes, men and women alike, but the bravery that must have mustered in the hearts of Dr. King and other men who were just a couple of generations from being beaten and sold because of slavery, ripped from their families like a bit of string on a skirt inspired me. Now wait, I’m a woman. Women rock. We are important. (And for the record, Mrs. Coretta deserves a day all her own.) Any who, women matter so much, but today I’d like to say “thank you, kudos, respect, salute, and you are appreciated” to men, like Dr. King who, despite faults, flaws and simple humankind-ness dare to make a difference for mankind.

Men, I’m stealing some of my own words from a previous post that seems applicable. I just want you to know that:

  • You are loved, valuable, needed, and necessary.
  • Your vision is desired.
  • Your voice is appreciated.
  • Your mistakes don’t define you. They are meant to direct others.
  • There are people who really do believe in you.
  • Your family needs you for more than your paycheck. Your time, influence, wisdom, discipline, authority, presence, participation, assuring hugs, hearty laugh and deep voice mean so much to so many.
  • Your words matter and we really do want to hear what you have to say (especially when you think no one cares or understand.)
  • There are some other GOOD men who are good for you to be around.
  • You have the right to start over again from any place of pain.
  • You deserve the beauty of joy and to sleep peacefully at night.
  • It’s okay to be hurt and to get help to deal with that hurt properly.
  • A strong man isn’t afraid to be honest, transparent, vulnerable and taught.
  • There is no embarrassment attached to improvement.
  • You are a leader, born of leaders, meant to breed other leaders.
  • A man who smiles and a man who is sensitive is sexy.
  • It’s okay to pray.
  • It’s okay to cry.
  • Greatness is in you.
  • You can be whomever God created you to be even if you didn’t have all the people or things you thought you needed in order to be it.
  • You are loved, valuable, needed, and necessary. (I said it twice so it can soak in.)

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@AngelaMMoore316