Did the title of this blog post catch your attention? I bet some of you are thinking about the ugly battle that is often waged between man and wife or woman and husband over who walks away with what when the ink dries on the divorce decree. Too bad. So sad. That’s not at all what I’m talking about. Keep reading to find out more.
Weddings are one of those occasions where a great emphasis is placed on gifts. Sadly, divorce is one of those where the emphasis on gifts should be so much greater. I’ve learned through my four years of divorce that gifts are something that certainly come along with the pain you go through. Not gifts in the tangible sense that one would think of from a wedding, but gifts in a sense of skills, passions, and strengths that possibly never would have come had someone not left. Not at all should divorce be used as an exchange for gifts and elevation. It shouldn’t. But if you’re in the unfortunate position of having to go through that kind of loss you might as well gain something from it. So don’t dare get divorced and not get ALL of your gifts.
So what all can you get? Glad you asked:
- Like me, you can gain the gift of blogging, writing or using your pain as a platform to help others heal.
- You can gain the gift of budgeting (like nobody’s business!)
- You can gain the gift of learning household chores you normally would have shied away from.
- You can gain the gift of new friends who come along to help you in your time of need.
- You can gain a sense of humor that may even shock you at times as you learn to laugh at the things that would once make you cry.
- You can gain the gift of “shake it offness”, that uncanny ability to not let things or people bother you like they used to or at all for that matter.
- You can gain the gift of discernment if you truly tap into God and trust His plans, being able to innately hear from God more clearly concerning people, places and things. (I believe that’s His consolation prize so to speak, for all you’ve endured.)
- You can gain the gift of congeniality learning how to deal cordially and in a mature way with your ex-spouse.
- You can learn the gift of scheduling as you rework the newness of your life especially if it deals with children who are loved by, and shared with both parents.
- You can learn the gift of balance…your calendar, your checkbook, your emotions, your time, and everything in between.
- You can gain the gift of cooking for one and stretching meals and menus in a way that would be pleasing to the most frugal frugalista.
- You can regain healthy friendships and family associations that might have taken a backseat to your marriage.
- You can learn a new hobby.
- You can learn a new form of education through classes, seminars, workshops and even seeking additional degrees.
- You can learn an elevated level of compassion and empathy that might even shock you at times.
- You can learn more about God, who He is, and just how absolutely strong He made you.
Sometimes in life, but especially in divorce, it’s so easy to set your sights on what was lost or who left. There’s so much to gain from any situation if you just make it though to the other side of your pain. I’ll say it again, don’t dare get divorced and not get ALL of your gifts.